IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views .

#people #animals #zoos
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In
this
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 modern era,
animals
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 are vital for economic and
enviromental
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environmental
 purpose.
Although
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 many people
belive
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believe
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 that it is not right to keep
creatures
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 who cannot speak,
other
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others
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 says that
zoo
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the zoo
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 is fundamental for entertainment and ecological balance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
This
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 essay will
elaborated
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elaborate
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both
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on both
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 sides of why to keep them in
cage
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a cage
the cage
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 and they are paramount for the community in many ways. Keeping wildlife in zoos will protect them against predators, bad weather, and food availability.
Nevertheless
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, keeping
animals
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 free is more logical than isolating them because if we keep them caged, they would not be able to have fresh air and chase other
animals
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.
Therefore
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, it is cruel to keep them confined in small spaces. It is advisable to put our efforts into keeping our
creatures
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 in their natural habitats, in order to give them the opportunity to experience a normal life. Keeping
animals
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 is essential because some are in fact becoming extinct.
Although
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 keeping these
creatures
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 is costly, the profits made by keeping them are substantial. Take Indian lions
for example
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; a wide range of people travel to India to watch in circuses.
However
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, some people think that governments should invest money in improving the infrastructure of their nations
instead
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. Building a new electrical power station,
for instance
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, is more important than spending thousands of pounds to preserve certain
creatures
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 from extinction.
Lastly
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, keeping
animals
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 is important for study and research whereas others think we have no right to use it for entertainment and in labs. To conclude, keeping
animals
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 in zoos might have many values but it is irrational to keep these
animals
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 away from their natural habitat. The reasons are that
besides
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 they are not vulnerable
creatures
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, they have the right to survive independently because of having feelings and emotions as human.
Submitted by sumani.rajput1994 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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