Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists ,musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #governments #support #artists #musicians #poets #waste #money

In the temporary world,

people

who work in the art industry need

investment

in order to develop. While many

people

believe that the government should

support

these

people

financially, I personally think that

instead

of helping artist musician and poets, there are a lot of problems that need the government's

investment

. Given the financial

support

to those who work in the

artindustry

Correct your spelling

industry

art industry

is essential to develop

this

industry. Tourism attracts an enormous of tourists every year and culture and art plays a vital role.

Therefore

financial

support

could be the best motivation for those

people

in order to improve and enhance their ability.

Moreover

, if the art industry develops significantly children who dream of being an artist can overcome the barriers from their parents and society. ,

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

it is indisputable that the money supporting those

people

is wasteful because there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some social problems that need

Remove the article

apply

show examples

investment

more than,

such

as poverty. Some countries especially develop

one's

Correct pronoun usage

ones's

show examples

has to face with high poverty rate which could lead to a social gap or national debt. Let's take

Add an article

the CY

show examples

country with the highest homeless and unemployed rate as an example. While there is a huge number of countries want to invest in a Heritage site, the authority wants to use the money for supporting fund which helps the poor can overcome and make a living to improve their standard. As a ,result the poverty rate declined sharply.

Furthermore

, financial

support

could be given to those who are talented in other fields so that the country could change positively. While it is indisputable that musicians, artists and poets need a fund to

support

them, I still believe that there are more things that

also

need the authority's

investment

Submitted by phuonglan on Tue Mar 23 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists ,musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people think that museums and art galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them the same as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

A friend wants find a part time job to earn some money while studying. You have heard about a suitable job for your friend. Write a letter to this friend,in your letter, - describe the job - Explain why you think it is suitable for your friend. - Say what your friend should do to get this job.