Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists ,musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #governments #support #artists #musicians #poets #waste #money

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In the temporary world,

people

who work in the art industry need

investment

in order to develop. While many

people

believe that the government should

support

these

people

financially, I personally think that

instead

of helping artist musician and poets, there are a lot of problems that need the government's

investment

. Given the financial

support

to those who work in the

artindustry

Correct your spelling

industry

art industry

is essential to develop

this

industry. Tourism attracts an enormous of tourists every year and culture and art plays a vital role.

Therefore

financial

support

could be the best motivation for those

people

in order to improve and enhance their ability.

Moreover

, if the art industry develops significantly children who dream of being an artist can overcome the barriers from their parents and society. ,

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

it is indisputable that the money supporting those

people

is wasteful because there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some social problems that need

Remove the article

apply

show examples

investment

more than,

such

as poverty. Some countries especially develop

one's

Correct pronoun usage

ones's

show examples

has to face with high poverty rate which could lead to a social gap or national debt. Let's take

Add an article

the CY

show examples

country with the highest homeless and unemployed rate as an example. While there is a huge number of countries want to invest in a Heritage site, the authority wants to use the money for supporting fund which helps the poor can overcome and make a living to improve their standard. As a ,result the poverty rate declined sharply.

Furthermore

, financial

support

could be given to those who are talented in other fields so that the country could change positively. While it is indisputable that musicians, artists and poets need a fund to

support

them, I still believe that there are more things that

also

need the authority's

investment

Submitted by phuonglan on Tue Mar 23 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists ,musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

Living in a country where you must speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Due to the advancement of technology, more and more people are working from home. This has many benefits to workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?