At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older adults. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays, the number of
youths
in some societies are more than that of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior citizens. I believe the benefits of creating new innovations
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more important compared to any disadvantage it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, one of the benefits of having more
youths
in some societies is that there will be new innovations. Young
adults
explore their environments and available materials, which may lead to mind-blowing outcomes that could change the world.
For instance
, Facebook was discovered by a
twenty-year old
Add a hyphen
twenty-year-old
show examples
student
of
Verify preposition usage
at
show examples
Oxford University. He was trying to experiment with infrared before the idea of connecting people
in the same way
Add the comma(s)
, in the same way,
show examples
struck his mind.
Therefore
, Admittedly, one potentially dangerous drawback of having more young
adults
in some countries is that they lack experience.
Youths
are deficient in carrying out basic chores because they do not understand how it is done.
For example
, Employers prefer to employ experienced
adults
due to the fact that inexperienced
youths
could be detrimental to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
organizational goals. In conclusion, having
youths
explore their environment and available materials clearly outweighs any downside that could result from young
adults
being more in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by Florence on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: