IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is claimed that one of the ways to reduce traffic jam is to improve the cost of fuel. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with the statement?

It is widely believed that one solution to
environmental
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the environmental
an environmental
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 problem - traffic jam - would be rising the price of petrol . While many
people
Use synonyms
 consider that
this
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 might be one of the most effective measures, I would disagree that
this
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 measure might have an even greater impact.
Firstly
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,
due to
Change preposition
apply
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the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 the cost of fuels,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will create detrimental effects on the economy. That there are many households
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 unaffordable to compensate for the extra expense lead to the fact that there would be a heavy burden on the shoulder of a man in a family.
Although
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people
Use synonyms
 would still need to travel to work, to school or to travel to shops and hospitals, they have to handle a great amount of money and decrease the fee for personal activities.
Secondly
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,
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the price of fuels may make some daily activities become inconvenient. From the perspective of freight services, more goods would have to be transported by rail rather than by truck. The company will exchange commodity in a long way and more slowly.
Besides
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, to reduce the cost of petrol, many
people
Use synonyms
 spend more time walking or going to work
by
Verify preposition usage
on
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 public transport which held up their important appointment.
Although
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 rising
in
Change preposition
apply
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fuel prices is said to be a useful stopgap measure,
this
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 would be no longer effective and unable to tackle these problems thoroughly. It greatly influences far more the underprivileged than the affluent
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, most drivers who are high-income and above-average
people
Use synonyms
 are still capable of paying for fuels despite higher prices.
Otherwise
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, the waste from their companies during
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 process
are
Change the verb form
is
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 always the main cause of pollution. In conclusion, a sharp rise in petrol prices may be a useful environmentally-friendly transport measure;
however
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, in the longer term it would be no longer effective for its detrimental effects, inconvenience and uncomprehensiveness

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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