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Band 3

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about culture and people, because people can learn from books, films or the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #culture #people #books #films #internet
Due to the
globlisation
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globalisation
globalization
 and the development of
technonlgy
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technology
 growing fast . The
airplane
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aeroplane
show examples
,train,
bus
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the bus
a bus
show examples
 is becoming
more and more stronger
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stronger and stronger
stronger
show examples
 inch by inch. There are thousands
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countries
counties
countires
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of countires
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 and cities in the world. As
human
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a human
show examples
 being ,we have to
contuine
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continue
 to learn
differnet
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different
 cultures from different
people
.
Hence
, from my perspective ,I disagree with the statement about
travel
 is
unnecessary
Correct article usage
an unnecessary
show examples
schedual
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schedule
 in our life.
First
 and foremost, we have to work very late from 9am-8pm by every weekday.
Moreover
, we need to stay with our children or improve our personal skills.
However
, we usually live in
city
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the city
a city
show examples
 and less chance
get
Add the particle
to get
show examples
connect
Add the particle
to connect
show examples
 with nature park.
However
,
travel
is not only help
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does not only help
show examples
 us to reduce
stressful
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stress
show examples
 but
also
 we can meet up
different
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with different
show examples
people
 and learn diversity cultures from
travel
. When
people
travel
 all over the world , the
people
 will reflective themself and get know more about themself and they open their horizon and they can get
really
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real
show examples
 experience from
travel
.
Conversly
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Conversely
, the book ,
fimls
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films
film
 and the internet is only for watching through the screen and paper ,it can't see really word and no one can communicate with you face to face .
Moreover
, if we watch all of them
Add an article
a
show examples
long time ,it will harmful to our eyes, specific to children. In
conculsion
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conclusion
 ,
people
 can learn
culture
Change preposition
about culture
show examples
 through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books ,film and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, but they can't get
really
Replace the word
real
show examples
 experience .
Therefore
 ,
travel
 is an essential aspect for
people
 . Experience is a vital point for
everyting
Correct your spelling
everything
 .
Submitted by crystal.xu54 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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