Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #purposes #networks #development

It is more

commonly

Replace the word

common

show examples

to share private

information

online so that

users

can get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

access to certain pages.

However

, I believe that

this

trend has a negative impact because it means that more

people

are vulnerable to hackers attacks. Those who are in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of giving their personal

information

to online platform and business claim that

this

would help these organizations to approach their customers easily. The more

users

give personal data, the easier

Correct pronoun usage

it to

show examples

meet their needs and expectations.

This

would facilitate companies to develop products and offer services based on their customers' preferences. A typical example of

this

Instegram

Correct your spelling

Instagram

has been using their

users

Change to a genitive case

user's

users'

show examples

data,

such

as age and location to show them pages related to

these

Change the determiner

this information

show examples

information

As a result

, it has facilitated the way to target

people

and instantly provide them with what they need based on their personal data.

On the other hand

, I would disagree with

this

statement because it has exposed

people

to hackers threats. Many

people

are

unware

Correct your spelling

unaware

show examples

of the importance of creating strong passwords for their personal accounts or avoiding clicking unknown links, which would make them

Remove the article

apply

show examples

easy prey for cyberattacks.

This

type of attacks could make peoples' lives more miserable because they always threat them by stealing money from their account or sharing private

information

with the public. The Sunday Times is recently reported that more than 50% of hacking come from the

Join the words

signup

sign-up

show examples

form because most

users

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

chosen to use

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

passwords for all their accounts. For that reason,

this

trend has contributed to many security breaches, which could

destory

Correct your spelling

destroy

peoples' lives. To sum up,

although

providing private

information

website

Add an article

the website

a website

show examples

could help companies to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their

users

' needs, I would go against

this

movement because it would make easier for the hackers to steal

these

Change the determiner

this information

show examples

information

users

had failed in protecting them.

Submitted by khadega.amer09 on Wed Mar 24 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ease of access
interconnected
communication
commerce
identity theft
privacy invasions
digitization
fraudulent activities
financial losses
reliance
digital profiles
social inequalities
cybersecurity measures
mitigate
digital convenience
mental health
anxiety
stress
online validation

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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

As a consequence of improved medical care, people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The effect of people to the environment is so much nowadays,what can the government and individuals do to restore or prevent further damage to the environment.

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think that public speaking skill is very important? Some people say that it should be taught at school. Do you agree or disagree?