Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is more
commonly
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common
show examples
to share private
information
online so that
users
can get
an
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apply
show examples
access to certain pages.
However
, I believe that
this
trend has a negative impact because it means that more
people
are vulnerable to hackers attacks. Those who are in
favor
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favour
show examples
of giving their personal
information
to online platform and business claim that
this
would help these organizations to approach their customers easily. The more
users
give personal data, the easier
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
meet their needs and expectations.
This
would facilitate companies to develop products and offer services based on their customers' preferences. A typical example of
this
,
Instegram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
has been using their
users
Change to a genitive case
user's
users'
show examples
data,
such
as age and location to show them pages related to
these
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
information
.
As a result
, it has facilitated the way to target
people
and instantly provide them with what they need based on their personal data.
On the other hand
, I would disagree with
this
statement because it has exposed
people
to hackers threats. Many
people
are
unware
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unaware
show examples
of the importance of creating strong passwords for their personal accounts or avoiding clicking unknown links, which would make them
an
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apply
show examples
easy prey for cyberattacks.
This
type of attacks could make peoples' lives more miserable because they always threat them by stealing money from their account or sharing private
information
with the public. The Sunday Times is recently reported that more than 50% of hacking come from the
sign up
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signup
sign-up
show examples
form because most
users
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
chosen to use
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
passwords for all their accounts. For that reason,
this
trend has contributed to many security breaches, which could
destory
Correct your spelling
destroy
peoples' lives. To sum up,
although
providing private
information
to
website
Add an article
the website
a website
show examples
could help companies to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
their
users
' needs, I would go against
this
movement because it would make easier for the hackers to steal
these
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
information
if
users
had failed in protecting them.
Submitted by khadega.amer09 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ease of access
  • interconnected
  • communication
  • commerce
  • identity theft
  • privacy invasions
  • digitization
  • fraudulent activities
  • financial losses
  • reliance
  • digital profiles
  • social inequalities
  • cybersecurity measures
  • mitigate
  • digital convenience
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • online validation
What to do next:
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