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Writing Samples
Band 5

At the present time, the population of some countries include relatively a large number of young adult, compared with the number of older person. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adult #person #situation
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Recently, it has been seen that the number of younger people
of
Verify preposition usage
in
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 some nations is higher than the
matured
Replace the word
mature
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 people.
Although
Linking Words
, it has fewer negative impacts, provides
a vast opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
vast opportunities
a vast opportunity
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 to develop those nations. Generally, younger are
accounted
Verify preposition usage
foraccounted
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 as the bright future of a
country
Use synonyms
. The increased
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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adult
Add an article
the adult
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 population may bring success for a state. There are several advantages of a large group of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adult for their region.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
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,
adult
Add an article
an adult
the adult
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 can
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
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 thyself according to the demand of time whereas elder takes more time and
also
Linking Words
 feel uncomfortable.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who is only twenty-five years old can learn easily anything in order
to
Verify preposition usage
for
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 their needs.
Besides
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, an early-aged individual could lead their citizen to establish new policies and regulation
that is
Linking Words
 beneficial for a
country
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, they can serve their responsibilities for their countries for a long period which help a
country
Use synonyms
 to improve
their
Change the pronoun
its
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 structure and financial growth resulting in
sustainable
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the sustainable
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 development of success. They
also
Linking Words
has
Change the verb form
have
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 the competency to bring a better life for their citizen.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, older is a valuable resource for a nation because they achieved
a huge experiences
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge experiences
a huge experience
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 over the period which is precious for a new generation.
Otherwise
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, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 few chances for young to receive miss concept about the role of a good citizen.
For example
Linking Words
, due to less experience, any immature person could motivate taking some wrong decisions. In conclusion, despite the experience of older
play
Add a comma
,play
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 an important role in a
country
Use synonyms
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 can better change for their nation by
hard-working
Add an article
the hard-working
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, dedication and time-acceptable thoughts.
Submitted by m.hpl on

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