IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #reward #students #show #results #improvements
It is debated issue that awards should be given to
students
 who improve on their studies regardless of academic results as much as achieved
students
 having a high degree. .
Although
 there is a number of
people
 who advocate that only the achieved
students
 in terms of academic should be rewarded , I would argue that not only learners with a high degree, but
also
people
 who aim to do something to succeed should be supported with the awards. On the one hand , there is a number of the factors why those who believe that school should reward
students
 showing the best academic results think that. Primarily,
people
 will be happy when appreciated, which make them achieve enhance.
Secondly
, to reward successful individual having a high score at whatever lesson ensures quite high motivation for them. .
Therefore
, they
also
 can adapt easily to other lessons.
On the other hand
, some community think that it is pivotal that encourage pupils who show development. Of ,course the best example of
this
 is rewarding to those who improved themself. by doing so,
students
' willing and avid behaviours could be raised. Their confidence in what they can achieve increases and they can eventually succeed.take an exam teacher that supports their student's development with little awards an example; after some time , the teacher could see that
students
 are more enthusiastic to learn some subject. In my opinion, young
people
 would be very beneficial for
students
 trying to develop them-self as well as achieved
people
. as long as
this
 incentive increases day by day, it is highly possible to witness the occurrence of achievement in most part of career or school life. To summarize in the light of the information given above ,even though there remains some disagreement on which
students
 should be rewarded, I believe that had not
students
 who show development rewarded , there would be some consequences for their education life.
Submitted by Ahmet Münir KOCAMAN on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • growth mindset
  • significant improvement
  • high academic standards
  • personal development
  • diverse learning paces
  • competitive academic environment
  • hard work and talent
  • supportive environment
  • inclusive
  • acknowledge
  • showcase
What to do next:
Look at other essays: