There are some motives for people to work. Some people think money is the most important. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people work for money
while
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others work for job satisfaction. It is believed by some people that paystubs are a priority for any occupation.
This
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short essay will express full disagreement with
this
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view and will offer the reasons for
this
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position. To commence with, there are umpteen reasons to prove that other motives are more significant: Job satisfaction, flexible task hours and good health. It is undeniable that psychological status is an integral part of employment, working by own choice
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
productivity
as well as
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a chance to get a better mental status. If a person seems to be more satisfied,
then
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he
would
Wrong verb form
will
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probably get a promotion, as he has a great interest in that.
For Instance
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, any individual working as a team member might become a manager soon if more interest and input is given. Linked to
this
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fact is that shifting hours are
also
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important
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while
Correct word choice
when
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considering any employment, it aids a lot to be fascinated toward their work,
prolong
Wrong verb form
prolonged
show examples
shifts
inculcates
Correct subject-verb agreement
inculcate
show examples
somehow monotonous features in that individual. Not only
this
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has
Wrong verb form
have
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a detrimental effect on their motivation but
also
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results in leaving the job.
Therefore
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, a person illustrates their working availability in a resume which helps to get rid of boredom and,
also
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avoiding long-time shifts. To exemplify, a weekly shift schedule is formulated by a manager for equal division of hours among the employees, as requested.
Furthermore
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, health
well-being
Correct word choice
and well-being
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seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
to be a key reason for any occupation, people like to be in a good status of well-being, a task must be in a category of safety and security,
also
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having insurance benefits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sudden ailments or for the future. profession related to dander good handlings is a good example, which includes employer safety and security,
along with
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this
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, health insurance and occupation sickness benefits. Summing up, I believe that, ultimately,
this
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essay has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suggested that including other benefits would likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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force
for working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
,
then
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finance, for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better growth and development.
Submitted by jaswinderkaurmahal1993 on

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task response
Inadequate development of ideas and supporting examples
coherence cohesion
Ideas are presented with little coherence and cohesion. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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