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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #centers #effect #youths #society
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It is often argued that spending leisure in shopping mall these days has a dreadful impact on young people and the community. In my opinion, I would completely agree with
this
 statement because
this
 habit consumes immensely their money and
time
, which affects negatively their productivity
that is
 needed
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to improve their societies. One of the main reasons for considering
this
 trend as a negative influence is that young people would waste most of their income in buying useless items
instead
 of paying for training or university courses. The more they used their free
time
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
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shopping, the more they become addicted to buying, which could probably push them to take more loans in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their purchasing desires.
This
 habit would prevent them from supporting their families or offering more funds to help the development of their societies. Another paramount reason is that it would distract young adults from improving their abilities and gaining new skills.
This
 is because they would only interested in
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
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 products,
such
 as laptops, clothes, and video games as a way of showing off in front of their friends
instead
 of focusing on their studies or work.
As a result
, no matter how hard they try to concentrate in heightening their academic and professional performance, it would be much difficult to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
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time
 for it when their free
time
 is wasted in
shopping
Add an article
a shopping
the shopping
show examples
 mall. For that reason, their community might suffer from having a large gap in certain skills and professions due to
this
 habit. To sum up, consuming free
time
 in a shopping mall has increasingly become a disadvantage for both young citizens and society. I believe that
this
 trend would encourage them to spend
large
Change the article
a large
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 amount of their income
in
Change preposition
on
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 unnecessary goods as well as impede their development process.
Submitted by khadega.amer09 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer culture
  • Materialism
  • Youth culture
  • Commercialization
  • Passive consumption
  • Social conformity
  • Economic stimulation
  • Financial literacy
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Local enterprises
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Alternative pastimes
  • Community engagement
  • Peer influence
  • Escapism
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