IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smoker #places
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It is argued that smoking in public places should be prohibited because of the harmful impact on people nearby as well as smokers themselves. I completely agree with the suggestion as cigarettes have an accumulative detrimental effect on human health and can lead to various types of cancer even if a person does not
smoke
Use synonyms
.
First
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 of all, the more there are areas where smoking is allowed, the more often people
smoke
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. Namely, in most
cases
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,cases
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 the environment provokes humans to
smoke
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 frequently because it is extremely difficult to control poor habits by yourself.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 measure will help at least to mitigate the detrimental effect on smokers' health.
For instance
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, according to researches conducted in the USA, due to the fact that smoking was banned on board
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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aircraft, most citizens who frequently fly shifted to
Use synonyms
smoke less
Correct your spelling
smokeless
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 even in their everyday life.
Second
Linking Words
 of all, even cigarette fumes absorbed by the organism of non-smokers lead to adverse consequences for their wellbeing.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, the harmful substances,
such
Linking Words
 as heavy metals, released into the air during the process of smoking, can straightly get into the neighbour's lungs and gradually result in the impairment of functions of different organs. According to the WHO statistics, in 87% of
cases
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,cases
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 humans who spend a long time with heavy smokers have the same diseases and even suffer cancer in some cases. In conclusion, provided that smoking is terminated in public places, it will incentivize addicted people to less harm their own health as well as restrict those who are nearby from the devastating effect of fumes.
Submitted by slkmihail on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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