IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#computers #basis #world #classrooms #programs #purposes #dependence #risk #students
There is an endless discussion in society about
integration
Add an article
the integration
show examples
 of
computers
 into schools and classrooms. At the same time, the dependence of
students
 on
computers
 and
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices may
threathen
Correct your spelling
threaten
 the educational system.
This
 essay will discuss both opinions and give a personal statement. On the one hand,
computers
 are the core component of
students
 school life.
Moreover
, there are many evolutional programs that help
students
 to learn some sophisticated topics and themes.
Furthermore
, it is more efficient for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 to pack one laptop than
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
the enormous
show examples
 amount of books and textbooks as the computer will contain everything he needs in one folder.
For example
, teachers can use the
computers
 to provide special or individual tasks, as well as, explain to every student the presentation if needed without delaying the progress of others.
On the other hand
, many programs on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
 are designed to entertain people.
This
 may overtake
students
 attention, which he is directing to the studies and lessons.
Consequently
,
this
 will lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of interest and decreasing
awareness
Correct article usage
the awareness
show examples
 of
pupils
Correct article usage
the pupils
show examples
.
For instance
, an average student spends at least two or three hours on the phone or computer by checking emails and social media. So it is risky to allow teenagers
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
computers
 in the classrooms without
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
strict supervision.
In addition
, the constant use of
computers
 and laptops is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the spinal cord, necks and eyesight of young individuals. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the introduction of
computers
 to
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system and classrooms is a long-term process. It has both disadvantages and advantages. I suppose that some of the subjects should be combined with computer programs like chemistry or math.
However
, other more practical fields should be taught in
former
Add an article
the former
a former
show examples
 style.
Submitted by Mariam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: