some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Each and every individual has
difference
Add an article
a difference
show examples
in taste. regarding residing in a well-constructed home or living in a flat. The choice to find a place for living depends on various
factors
such
as cost or location. In
this
essay, we will discuss the merits of living in an apartment over a home. Having
an
Change the word
their
its
show examples
own villa to live in is certainly a dream to achieve due to various
factors
.
First
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is privacy, which is an essential basic right of any human being.
People
own the area to themselves and are their own bosses on how to live their lives,
that is
why all affluent and rich
people
prefer their own bungalows.
Secondly
, there is a sense of accomplishment which can be enjoyed from living in
own
Add a pronoun
your own
their own
show examples
house. Whereas,
benefits
Add an article
the benefits
show examples
of sharing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
space are no less. No one can deny the advantage of Zed plus security being provided in a flat which allows
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
one a sound sleep.
People
can leave
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
house unattended for as many days
they
Change preposition
as they
show examples
want, without giving a
second
thought. Not only security but various other issues like water supply, electricity supply and other minor issues are in the hands of management by just lodging a formal complaint.
Moreover
, it
also
leads to much sociable life. Whenever in dire need,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
only neighbours who
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
to the rescue. A person
next
door is more accessible than a person living
next
building.
Further
Add a comma
,Further
show examples
it provides
platform
Add an article
a platform
the platform
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the children to engage in outdoor activities as these amenities are available in an apartment whereas children living
in
Verify preposition usage
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
usually play on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
which is
grave
Add an article
a grave
show examples
concern for parents. Considering these many
factors
, many old age
people
sell their ancestral homes to enjoy facilities offered in an apartment. To conclude, I would say, that it completely depends on one’s preference whether to stay in a house or a flat but the luxury derived from apartments outweighs from detached homes.
Hence
, one should not overlook these
factors
while making a decision.
Submitted by navpreet3008 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: