IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people claim that museums and art galleries will not bee need because people can see historical objects and works of arts by computers. Do you agree or disagree

#people #museums #art #galleries #bee #objects #works #arts #computers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has been in the modern years the main source of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
 among the younger generations. Many students
Add the comma(s)
, in particular,
show examples
in particular
 believe that online resources could eventually replace
museums
 and
art
 galleries.
This
 essay will discuss the reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am completely disagree
Change the verb form
completely disagree
show examples
 with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 statements and the reason why everyone should visit
museums
 rather than downloading poor quality images.
First
 of all, I believe that there must be a reason why
museums
 have always been well looked after by the governments and community that host them. In my opinion, entering
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
art
 gallery or a museum is a
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
 experience and a place where you can enjoy the beauty and the quality of that specific piece of
art
. It is indeed an
emotions
Change the noun form
emotion
show examples
 that can not
be describe
Change the verb form
be described
show examples
while downloading an image from the computer it is a much basic,
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
 feeling that can not be compared.
Also
, the images that you purchase online could not be the original
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 and you could never be sure of the authenticity of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Secondly
, when you
pourchase
Correct your spelling
purchase
 a ticket for a museum often a tour operator is included.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
 you have the advantage of listening to a
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 educated expert that
explain
Change the verb form
explains
show examples
 the history and the background of the piece of
art
 you are looking at with the possibility of asking questions if needed.
A recent
Remove the article
Recent
show examples
 research conducted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oxford university stated that attending a museum is the best way to learn about historical monuments and it is considered to
longer- lasting
Add a hyphen
longer-lasting
show examples
 in your memory during the years. To summarise I strongly believe that the internet and computer will never have the ability to replace
art
 galleries or
museums
 because of the feelings and emotions that involved in it, and if I were a teacher at school I would encourage my students to visit historical object in person.
Submitted by gianlucaspadaitaly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: