IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In recent years many governments has brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

#years #governments #laws #ban #places #bars #restaurants #offices
Public smoking has become a major issue in today's world.
Therefore
, many local authorities have banned people from consuming cigarettes
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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. I partially agree with the above action as it has its own merits and demerits.
Firstly
, smoking is identified as a harmful habit to human health as it causes cancers.
Hence
, prohibiting
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 various locations will discourage users
to use
Change preposition
from using
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 it frequently and will improve
the
Change the word
their
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 health
subsequently
.
Moreover
, it is identified that the people in the surrounding area of a smoker
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more affected than the person who consumes it.
Therefore
, it is inarguable that the community must not be allowed to smoke in open areas.
For example
, many staff members in the metro stations of India are identified as cancer patients
due to
 the fact that they are exposed to customers who use cigarettes inside the premises.
Thus
, it is clear why many stand for the view of banning smoking in public.
However
, rigid rules on smoking may have an adverse impact on countries,
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 solely depend on tourist income. The visitors may not prefer to travel to a particular country
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if they are not allowed to behave
according to
 their preference.
Furthermore
, aforesaid restrictions may discourage local customers
to visit
Change preposition
from visiting
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 restaurants and hotels and
this
 will have a negative impact on the growth of the hospitality industry. To illustrate, after the smoking ban in public areas in
Correct article usage
the Netherland
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Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
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 was imposed, many
night clubs
Correct your spelling
nightclubs
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 were shut down
due to
 the low income.
Hence
, it is certain that banning is not the most optimum solution.
To conclude
,
although
 restrictions on smoking have merits on public health and demerits on a country's economy. I advocate that the laws should be imposed in a manner to
strike
Wrong verb form
strikes
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 a balance between the above-mentioned factors.
Submitted by angelo.suraweera on

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