As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

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it is undeniable fact that money plays a crucial role in our life because it provides the power to archives dreams.

However

Linking Words

, some people opine that while earning huge incomes. wealthy persons should spend some time for the welfare of our society . I completely agree with the statement and in the following ,paragraphs I will shed my views.

To begin

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with, in the era of globalization , many companies are making huge profits in their business . Whereas, these big margin of profits

also

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leads our planet towards the destruction of the environment .

Moreover

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, these big cooperate industries create pollution ,but they spend extremely little on environmental damages, which are created by their business. For instances, every year many industries throw their packaging waste in the ocean due to that many marine animals become extinct in our world. Moving

further

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ahead, in many countries it is easily seen that ,some industries provide limited jobs to handicapped folks.

moreover

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, companies should expand their vacancies of handicapped jobs for the bright future of our society .

In addition

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, some government should establish stringent laws for companies to increase the hiring of the more handicapped persons in their firms .Whereas,in ,return government can provide relaxation on the taxes . In the conclusion, earning money can bring benefits to our society only, if we used some portion of our income to bring happiness in the lives of the needed persons and protecting our environment

Remove the comma

apply

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so that we can live a healthy lifestyle .

Submitted by bhinder7780 on Tue Mar 30 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

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As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Today many people do not know their neighbours. What are the reasons and solutions for this issues.

Some people think that children should be taught at school to recycle materials and avoid waste. Other people believe that children should be taught this at home. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to dealt with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.