As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

it is undeniable fact that money plays a crucial role in our life because it provides the power to archives dreams.
However
, some people opine that while earning huge incomes. wealthy persons should spend some time for the welfare of our society . I completely agree with the statement and in the following ,paragraphs I will shed my views.
To begin
with, in the era of globalization , many companies are making huge profits in their business . Whereas, these big margin of profits
also
leads our planet towards the destruction of the environment .
Moreover
, these big cooperate industries create pollution ,but they spend extremely little on environmental damages, which are created by their business. For instances, every year many industries throw their packaging waste in the ocean due to that many marine animals become extinct in our world. Moving
further
ahead, in many countries it is easily seen that ,some industries provide limited jobs to handicapped folks.
moreover
, companies should expand their vacancies of handicapped jobs for the bright future of our society .
In addition
, some government should establish stringent laws for companies to increase the hiring of the more handicapped persons in their firms .Whereas,in ,return government can provide relaxation on the taxes . In the conclusion, earning money can bring benefits to our society only, if we used some portion of our income to bring happiness in the lives of the needed persons and protecting our environment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that we can live a healthy lifestyle .
Submitted by bhinder7780 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
Look at other essays: