Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether all wild
animals
should be well preserved or just a few. Although
good protection for wildlife could reduce the impact of human activities, I do believe that a healthy environment should not be bothered by human
and we can only save a few extinct Fix the agreement mistake
humans
animals
for the natural balance.
To begin
with, it is believed that all wild animals
should be protected because their living environment had
damaged by human activity. Many kinds of wild Verb problem
is
animals
have found it difficult to find suitable habitats to live in or to search for the food they need. It is undeniable that the decreasing population of some wild animals
are caused by human activity as more and more forests and water had
been polluted and destroyed. Wrong verb form
have
Therefore
, some people think that humanity should be compensated for all wild creature
by protecting them.
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
On the other hand
, I do believe that only a few animals
should be preserved when it
Correct pronoun usage
they
potential
impact the environment. Some sort of wild Change the word
potentially
animal
could be a sign of Fix the agreement mistake
animals
the
environmental damage, Correct article usage
apply
it
could be a potential threat to Correct pronoun usage
they
the
Correct article usage
apply
human
if they are extinct. Take Fix the agreement mistake
humans
an
example of the polar bear, many conservationists try to protect them, not only to save the Correct article usage
the
reducing
number of them but Replace the word
reduced
also
the
melting ice of their habitat has caused the increase of sea level. We are all part of the ecosystem on earth, the wildlife nature should be well balanced Correct word choice
because the
from
all creatures. Change preposition
for
By protecting
some rare Change preposition
Protecting
animals
can prevent damage to the ecosystem .
In conclusion, although
many people think that human
should protect all wild Fix the agreement mistake
humans
animals
because we had
occupied most of the places from them. From the environmental perspective, I do believe that only Wrong verb form
have
Correct article usage
a fewer
fewer
wild Replace the word
few
animals
should be protected.Submitted by Christy's Kitchen on
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Task Achievement
Enhance the logical development of ideas by providing a clearer and more focused argument. Make sure to fully address all aspects of the task question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to establish stronger coherence and cohesion throughout the essay. Use linking words and transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite