IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #resources #attention #protection #animals #birds
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Some are on the view that extra effort and concern is diverted to save wild animals and birds. I totally disagree
to
Change preposition
with
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 the above fact that extra effort is been put rather less investment and action is been taken by people at present. Deforestation is happening at an alarming rate
Use synonyms
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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 impacting the lifecycle of
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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life
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, natural habitat and the breeding grounds of species are getting
decereased
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decreased
 by selfless acts by corporates for housing and
constrction
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construction
. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, the
world
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 saw the
last
Linking Words
 white African Rhino
Replace the word
losing
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loosing
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losing
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 its
life
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 due to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
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 of natural space for it to live in.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
Amazon
Correct article usage
the Amazon
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 forest which is considered to be the largest rain forest in the
world
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 lost 10 % of its trees in the
last
Linking Words
 2 years which has caused many endangered species to vanish from
this
Linking Words
 planet.
On the other hand
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 poaching and
hunting
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,hunting
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 animals have been on the rise over
the
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apply
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recent years.
Firstly
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, some countries,
such
Linking Words
 as Japan have given government sponsorship to conduct mass killings of whales as a sport .
Furthermore
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,
paching
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patching
poaching
packing
 which is considered to be one of the
billion dollar
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billion-dollar
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 businesses in the
world
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 has
pave
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paved
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 the way without any restriction or action to kill animals to be sold at
open
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the open
an open
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 market.
Finally
Linking Words
, these kinds of actions without any restrictions will result in the extinction of
wild
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wildlife
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life
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 to the
world
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 very
qucikly
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quickly
 In
conclusion
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,conclusion
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 it is clear that even if some people believe that extra effort and investment is been put
to
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in to
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 save
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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life
Use synonyms
 and birds, the truth of the matter is that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 the quite opposite which is happening and urgent attention is needed to solve
this
Linking Words
 complex issue.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

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