Some believe that young people committed a crime should be treated as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that

children

Use synonyms

criminals must bear responsibilities for their

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in the same way as adults. I strongly disagree with

such

Linking Words

an approach as far as it can have the opposite effects and negative consequences.

First

Linking Words

of all, each crime should be punished based on the level of awareness of guilt which is very low or nonexistent for

children

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

and young

people

Use synonyms

are not fully developed emotionally and mentally which means that they should be deemed to be capable of being guilty of a crime from

this

Linking Words

perspective and to

such

Linking Words

an extent that it can be adequate. The lack of maturity can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

's decision making and

risk taking

Add a hyphen

risk-taking

show examples

behaviour and

children

Use synonyms

may not fully appreciate the effect their actions can have on other

people

Use synonyms

and may not be capable of fully understanding the distress and pain they cause to the victims of their crimes.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a punishment that applied to adults will not target its purpose to correct the

children

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, since the youth justice system must encourage

children

Use synonyms

and young

people

Use synonyms

to take responsibility for their own actions and promote re-integration into society rather than punish them. The other reason to not treat

children

Use synonyms

criminals as adult ones is that it could have negative and adverse effects on them rather than improving their

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and having re-educative effects. Being placed in the corrective institutions for adults, or young

people

Use synonyms

become surrounded by adult criminals who negatively affect them that increase the rate of recidivism amongst

such

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

, there have been proved that increasing the severity of punishments is associated with additional reoffending for those sentenced.

Therefore

Linking Words

, while recidivism is a key measure for the success of a criminal sanction scheme, a wider set of other outcome measures, including rehabilitation, education and employment, is needed to fully capture the overall effectiveness of punishments. In conclusion, I believe that overly severe penalties for young

people

Use synonyms

having committed crimes

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to recidivism rather than correction of their

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

children

Use synonyms

do not realise their guilt completely and severe punishment only compounds the problem of youth criminality.

vickuly

Apr 2, 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many countries, people are consuming more sugar-based drinks than before. Why is this happening, and what could be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?
Nowadays, the consumption of soft drinks has increased as compared to earlier. There are some factors like advertisements and processed sugar, which make it more popular among individuals.Here, some solutions also exist to overcome this problem. I will discuss both reasons and solutions in upcoming paragraphs
8
band
In some developing countries, disabled people are not given proper access to public and private facilities. What are some possible effects of this problem and solutions to it?
It is well known that the issue of disabled persons not having appropriate access in contemporary society is growing at an alarming rate. This result is bringing a state of depression among the masses and in a circular economy too. This paragraph will present the possible effects, and potential remedies are also to be discussed.
6
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Nowadays, high levels of sugar are contained in many foods, especially in manufactured food, and the consumption of such food has a negative impact on human health. Some people suggest that consumers should be charged a higher price for sugary products in order to discourage them from buying them. In my opinion, this method is not very practical.
8
band
Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
As it’s profoundly insisted on by the public, investment in the preservation of endangered mammal habitats is regarded as a waste of income.From my perspective, endangered mammals play a crucial and fundamental role in the ecosystem and protection is regarded as a necessity to keep our biodiversity flowing .On the other hand, the extinction process is a part of the revolution and a natural procedure which is impossible to circumvent.Additionally, the money should be invested in the nourishment of starved African children and in the improvement of educational systems and facilities instead.
8.5
band
You recently bought a piece of sports equipment from an online store. When you first used the piece of sports equipment, you found a problem with it. write a letter to the manager of the online store. In your letter describe the problem with the piece of sports equipment say what happened because of the problem explain what you would like the company to do
I would like to express my dissatisfaction with the sole quality of the ‘Nivea Good Grip Version 2’ badminton shoe that I recently purchased from your website.

Some believe that young people committed a crime should be treated as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are consuming more sugar-based drinks than before. Why is this happening, and what could be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

In some developing countries, disabled people are not given proper access to public and private facilities. What are some possible effects of this problem and solutions to it?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?