Some believe that young people committed a crime should be treated as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #crime #adults #authorities

It is often argued that

children

criminals must bear responsibilities for their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in the same way as adults. I strongly disagree with

such

an approach as far as it can have the opposite effects and negative consequences.

First

of all, each crime should be punished based on the level of awareness of guilt which is very low or nonexistent for

children

Children

and young

people

are not fully developed emotionally and mentally which means that they should be deemed to be capable of being guilty of a crime from

this

perspective and to

such

an extent that it can be adequate. The lack of maturity can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Children

's decision making and

risk taking

Add a hyphen

risk-taking

show examples

behaviour and

children

may not fully appreciate the effect their actions can have on other

people

and may not be capable of fully understanding the distress and pain they cause to the victims of their crimes.

Therefore

, a punishment that applied to adults will not target its purpose to correct the

children

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, since the youth justice system must encourage

children

and young

people

to take responsibility for their own actions and promote re-integration into society rather than punish them. The other reason to not treat

children

criminals as adult ones is that it could have negative and adverse effects on them rather than improving their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and having re-educative effects. Being placed in the corrective institutions for adults, or young

people

become surrounded by adult criminals who negatively affect them that increase the rate of recidivism amongst

such

children

Besides

, there have been proved that increasing the severity of punishments is associated with additional reoffending for those sentenced.

Therefore

, while recidivism is a key measure for the success of a criminal sanction scheme, a wider set of other outcome measures, including rehabilitation, education and employment, is needed to fully capture the overall effectiveness of punishments. In conclusion, I believe that overly severe penalties for young

people

having committed crimes

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to recidivism rather than correction of their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

children

do not realise their guilt completely and severe punishment only compounds the problem of youth criminality.

Submitted by vickuly on Fri Apr 02 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

352 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It's undisputable fact that our plant sufer from various proplems. While other s argue that the loss of specific of both plants and animals conseder to be the main enviromental proplem. However, others, say that there are more important eviromental problem. While there is a vallid argumant to the contrary, I personally believe that all environmental problems are equally important. In this essay I will explore both views along with my own opinion.
5.5
band
Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In many countries, people's life expectancy is higher now than in the past. Many individuals argue that an elderly population has its pros and cons in society and to the government. Although, the elderly are known to be wise and could guide the younger generation through life. However, they are still a burden to the community. In my opinion, an aging population puts a country to a disadvantage.
4.5
band
In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The improving of standard life in many countries result to the plan to combine to shops, schools, offices and homes in a separate place. A lot people support to this strategy due to their benefits while I believe that has some negative effects in resident’s life.
6.5
band
Some people feel that cities should allow for spaces for graffiti while others feel it should be banned. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that cities should accommodate some spots for graffiti, while others think graffiti should not be allowed. This essay agrees that the government should allocate some spaces in the city to be painted by its citizen to express their creativity.
5
band
The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?
In today's technology society, education seems to be the most important aspect to be focused. Therefore, there are many arguments between the problem that the government should save money to develop education instead of arts. Even though I certainly disagree with this opinion, I also understand why some people have this thinking.

Some believe that young people committed a crime should be treated as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that cities should allow for spaces for graffiti while others feel it should be banned. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?