IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development #support #arguments #evidence
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 more and more
students
 choose to
study
 abroad compare to the past.
This
 comes with some advantages,
such
 as learning a new
language
 or having more courses available.
However
, it
also
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 with some disadvantages like an increase in
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 and being far from your hometown. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will
analise
Correct your spelling
analyse
 more
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
 these
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons. Nowadays, many
students
 decide to
study
 in foreign countries, which will allow them to speak a new
language
. In fact, living for 3 or more years in a new
country
 will
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 them the opportunity to become bilingual, which is very important for many reasons.
First
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 they will be more competitive when it comes to
find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
 a job. In many interviews
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, the employers look at the number of
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 spoken by the candidate and
this
 will lead to a higher probability of being employed.
Additionally
, depending on where they live,
students
 will be able to find the most suitable course or master in a different
country
.
For example
, many
students
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in cities where they can not find what they want to
study
 and for
this
 reason they choose to change
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
.
Therefore
, they will be more motivated as they can learn what they really want.
On the other hand
, moving
country
 is not always an easy choice as the University
dregrees
Correct your spelling
degrees
 are very expensive and you will
also
 need to rent a room or a flat for many years.
Thus
, many
families
 won't be able to pay
this
 amount of money for their children.
For example
, in the U.S.A most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Universities could cost as much as 50 thousands dollar per year
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is more than the average salary earned by people in many developing countries. Another consequence of studying abroad is that
students
 will be far away from their
families
 and friends.
Additionally
, because of the high cost spent on tuitions and the rent, they won't be able to go back during the holidays.
Therefore
, they will easily feel powerless and lonely which can lead to depression and other mental illnesses. In conclusion, choose to
study
 in a
foreing
Correct your spelling
foreign
country
 will surely give to the people the opportunity to learn a new
language
 but
also
 find the most
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 course, and because of
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 they will be more chance to find a job.
However
, because of the high cost needed
this
 will not be possible for everyone and it can
also
 cause mental problems to some of them as they will miss their
families
. In the future, we should be able to reduce the costs of universities and give more opportunity to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
 that can not afford it.
Submitted by manfredireale on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: