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Band 5.5

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #world #population #cost #healthcare #nation’s #provision #future
In the world many of the countries, the number of older
people
 raised frequently which result
into
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in
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 more spending on
healthcare
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the healthcare
show examples
sector
.
However
, some
people
believes
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believe
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
 pay some
amount
 for their future healthcare maintenance. I agree with the statement because if
government
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the government
show examples
 just cannot spend
enormous
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an enormous
show examples
amount
 of
money
 on
one
sector
 so, each individual
have
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has
show examples
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilty
Correct article usage
the responsibilty
show examples
 to pay some
amount
 of
money
 in the form of tax for
Add an article
the
show examples
good infrastructure of
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
sector
.
First
 of all, as we know that
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
sector
 is
one
 of
biggest
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the biggest
show examples
 issue of all the countries as it is very expensive so it would be difficult for the older
people
 to pay
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the
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te
Correct your spelling
the
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 bills of
doctor
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a doctor
the doctor
show examples
, medicine and various test.
In addition
 to
this
, if residents of the country help the government to pay
Add an article
a
show examples
small
amount
 of
money
 from their wages it will be
big
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a big
show examples
 support for the elder
people
. As well
as
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apply
show examples
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will
also
 manage the other sectors
such
 as education and transportation.
In contrast
 to that, it is not
possibile
Correct your spelling
possible
 for all the individuals to pay for future health infrastructure because they are working on
small
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a small
the small
show examples
amount
 of wages
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their daily necessities. Due to that they cannot pay for social issues it may result
into
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in
show examples
extra
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an extra
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 burden on them and they feel depressed.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 in most of
Add an article
the countries
show examples
countries
Add a comma
,countries
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 only
one
 member of the family earn
money
 and rest of member depend on him.
For example
 , in India due to huge population
oonly
Correct your spelling
only
one
 family member earn
money
 to full the demands of their family if they pay some
amount
 of
money
 it can cause
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effects on their mind. In conclusion, it is important to look after elder
people
 by giving them funds it should be based upon the earning of the family.
Submitted by daisysharma0087 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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