IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that it is an individual responsibilty to take care of an environment but others think it is government's job to do so. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #responsibilty #care #environment #government #job
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Some group of
people
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 think that protecting
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is only
people
Use synonyms
's response, while others argue that the
government
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also
Linking Words
 has to take steps. In my own opinion, I believed that both
government
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 and individuals must guard our
environment
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. On the one hand, it is argued that per person must do some important things to keep the
environment
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.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, they must solve the
pollution
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 issue. Because
pollution
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 is extremely harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
environment
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. Individuals must keep clean the area, where they are living. If everyone
keep
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keeps
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 clean at least their own territory,
pollution
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 will
be
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be decreased
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decrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
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, which is beneficial for the
environment
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.
Secondly
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, everyone must plant at least one tree. Because trees have a vital part of life. They take the carbon gas to themselves, which is awful for
people
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's lives, and give the oxygen to
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environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, it seems to me that there are a lot of things that must be done by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to take care of
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
nature
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.
To begin
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 with, to reduce
pollution
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Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should decrease the number of factories and
also
Linking Words
 cars in the country. Because the gas that
come
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comes
show examples
 from cars and factories damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
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 every day and
this
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 is
governmental
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a governmental
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 responsibility.
In addition
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,
statement
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the statement
a statement
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 should invest the money to some groups that plant trees
every
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in every
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 territory of
county
Correct article usage
the county
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. Giving an example, in Azerbaijan
government
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 invest
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the group, which named IDEA, plant flowers, trees, clean
the
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apply
show examples
most areas of
country
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the country
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.
Hence
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, the air
get
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gets
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 fresher. If
Correct article usage
the statement
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statement
Replace the word
states
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do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not help
this
Linking Words
 group to guard the
environment
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, they probably will not do a lot of things to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
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. To sum up, while some
people
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 think that only citizens can keep the
environment
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, I believe that
government
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 has
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 responsibility
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 protecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by anar.safarov on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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