IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they at least 18 years old, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years
It is true that
students
 receive full-time study until they are 18 years old,
However
. Some people do not agree. From my perspective, It necessary for the student to receive their education until they reach adulthood. These reasons as fellows. Receiving a full-time study is crucial for
students
.
First
 of all,
in addition
 to basic knowledge of various subjects, a full-time course provides
students
 with an opportunity to acquire social skills. If the
school
 is a society,
students
 can learn communication skills, teamwork, leadership, active listening, and other ability.
Besides
, full-time schools can give children a certain degree of protection. Some socially and emotionally immature
students
 want to interrupt their studies and go to society because of academic performance and family problems. In the end, they may not find a place to stay and go astray. If they remain together at
school
, reduce committed crime, and the teachers instil moral educations.
Therefore
,
students
 ought to be in
school
 until they reach adulthood,
However
,
this
 does not mean that all
students
 have to stay until the age of 18. After all, if some
students
 have remarkable talents, they need to leave
school
 to explore and cultivate them.
For example
, athletes or underage artists can play their extraordinary competence accompanied by their parents or coaches. Their talents are explored and cultivated at an appropriate age. In conclusion, it is indeed for
students
 to receive full-time study until they are 18 years old unless
students
 who have facility talents can have exceptions.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: