IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause ? what can be done to deal with this situation ?

#doctor #teacher #countries #work #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 era of
cut throat
Add a hyphen
cut-throat
show examples
 competition ,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of professional migrate from their native to another
country
Use synonyms
.There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of reason why they migrating but for
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
show examples
 and
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 they go to the developed
country
Use synonyms
 .In
this
Linking Words
 situation what can be done to deal with it and
government
Use synonyms
 should take some serious steps against
this
Linking Words
. The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost reason to
support
Use synonyms
 my ideology is that in
developing
Add an article
a developing
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 there are less job and less payscale due to
that
Correct article usage
the that
show examples
 they work in
developed
Add an article
a developed
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 .The
government
Use synonyms
 of their
country
Use synonyms
 do not give ideal service and facilities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they all are professional and they want to start their own
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 but lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
government
Use synonyms
support
Use synonyms
 and facility they do not start their own
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
In addition
Linking Words
, foreign
government
Use synonyms
support
Use synonyms
 in terms of money and loans. On the one hand, there are
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why people migrating to
developing
Add an article
a developing
the developing
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, professional demand is higher in foreign
countrty
Correct your spelling
country
countries
 .
For example
Linking Words
 , as per Times of India newspaper in 2015, thirty thousand professional migrate to foreign for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future and work .Today, in
this
Linking Words
 era number becoming increase day by day.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should give
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary to doctor and teacher .Teacher are
backbone
Add an article
the backbone
show examples
 of every
country
Use synonyms
.
Government
Use synonyms
 should provide
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 services and facilities to professional .They should
support
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their business and instrument for medical services. To conclude, doctor and
teacher
Add the comma(s)
,teacher
show examples
 are ideal
professional
Change the noun form
professionals
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 .
Government
Use synonyms
 make policies for them to work in
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and it will lead to
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Submitted by Harsh prajapati  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: