IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

#time #art #part #cultures #world #people’s #values #science #technology #business #arts #attention
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In
this
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 modern
society
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, many
people
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 believe subjects
such
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 as science, technology and business are more crucial than
art
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, which used to be an important part of all cultures globally. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss some reason for
this
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 trend and suggest possible solutions to encourage more
people
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 in
the
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apply
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society
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 to participate in
art
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.
People
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 are living in
this
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 materialized world with so many new cutting
edge
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edges
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of
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apply
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technologies been developed. it is commonly believed that
,
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apply
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 students should focus and put their effort into subjects which may enhance their abilities to obtain an ideal job with well paid.
For instance
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, students who had completed their professional study in
technology related
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technology-related
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 subject would increase their chances to work for
an
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apply
show examples
internationl
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international
 companies
such
Linking Words
 as Google,
facebook
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Facebook
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, very well known to be a great employer who
proivded
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provided
wide
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a wide
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 range of fringe benefits.
As a result
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, the majority of
people
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 tend to go for
subject
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a subject
the subject
show examples
 which may help them to make more money. In order to promote
art
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 in
the
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apply
show examples
society
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, local
goverments
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governments
government
 should invest more and grant fundings to support
art
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 industries as well as artists who create
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art works
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artworks
show examples
.
Art
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 is an important aspect, it is a form of visual communication to express ideas and communicate concepts. Citizens can learn from
art
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 and inspired by it. The
goverment
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government
 may support the
art
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 by
subsidized
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subsidizing
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 the cost of operating
art
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 galleries and
meseum
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museum
museums
 so that the
society
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 can have more access to artwork without having to pay for it.
Additionaly
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Additionally
Additional
,
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art related
Add a hyphen
art-related
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 educational program should be sponsored by the government to encourage more students and artists to create
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art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
. To conclude, it is clear to see the business and technologies have
revolusonized
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revolutionized
this
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morden
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modern
 world.
However
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,
Art
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 is the key element to promote the country’s
culture
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cultural
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 heritage as
welll
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well
 as
people
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's
creativity
Replace the word
creative
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 thinking and communication concept.
Therefore
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, the government should play a role to preserve it.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • evolve
  • technological advancements
  • overshadowing
  • financial pressures
  • practical careers
  • digital entertainment
  • accessible
  • integrated
  • curricula
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • public art projects
  • engage
  • interactive
What to do next:
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