Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #olympic #games #people #nations #olympics #wastes #money

Many

people

claim that the Olympic

games

are beneficial

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show examples

connecting

people

from all around the globe together,

however

, other

people

insist that the

Olympics

are too pricey for what they offer and the

badget

Correct your spelling

budget

of the

games

could be used on something more crucial. I am going to discuss the arguments of both sides and express my honest opinion on the matter.

Firstly

, I believe it crucial to underline the reach history and

succes

Correct your spelling

success

of the

olympic

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Olympic

show examples

games

throughout the years. The

olympics

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Olympics

show examples

were a primary weapon

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show examples

tackling the issue of racial hate. Through bringing

people

and athletes even from the most distant nations to compete with

eachother

Correct your spelling

each other

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show examples

Change the article

show examples

ideally healthy competition

enviroment

Correct your spelling

environment

Olympics

achieved on connecting humans that would never do

otherise

Correct your spelling

otherwise

and broadening the

boundries

Correct your spelling

boundaries

of many individuals,

as a

result

Add the comma(s)

,result

show examples

nationalism and racism declined.

Therefore

Change the capitalization

Olympics

show examples

olympics

Correct article usage

the olympics

show examples

helped on creating a more peaceful and understanding

world

For instance

, there are historical examples where 2 top athletes from rival countries created a friendly bond together through the passion they shared for the same sport, giving the right example to the citizens that were watching the

boradcasted

Correct your spelling

broadcasted

broadcast

event. On the other side of the spectrum, plenty of

people

claim that the

Olympics

are not offering

enought

Correct your spelling

enough

to the

world

to justify their cost. It is indeed true that the organization of the event is extremely

costy

Correct your spelling

costly

, especially in

world

Add an article

a world

show examples

where problems like

world

hunger and homelessness still exist.

Therefore

, it is wise to spend

this

enormous amount of money on tackling those issues rather than organizing a

sport

Change the verb form

sporting

show examples

event. In conclusion, I firmly believe that even though the humongous cost of organizing the Olympic

games

, they justify the expenses by helping on dealing with plenty of really crucial social problems that exist

globaly

Correct your spelling

globally

and by contributing to

wolrd

Correct your spelling

world

peace and stability.

Submitted by Joanna on Mon Apr 05 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Band 6+: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through another media. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family>

Your friend wants to visit your town. Write a letter to him giving information about the town. In your letter include : 1. what is the good time for visit? 2. describe some interesting places to visit 3. what accomodation is better for his stay?