Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many
people
claim that the Olympic
games
are beneficial
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
connecting
people
from all around the globe together,
however
, other
people
insist that the
Olympics
are too pricey for what they offer and the
badget
Correct your spelling
budget
of the
games
could be used on something more crucial. I am going to discuss the arguments of both sides and express my honest opinion on the matter.
Firstly
, I believe it crucial to underline the reach history and
succes
Correct your spelling
success
of the
olympic
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Olympic
show examples
games
throughout the years. The
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
were a primary weapon
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
tackling the issue of racial hate. Through bringing
people
and athletes even from the most distant nations to compete with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
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an
show examples
ideally healthy competition
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
,
Olympics
achieved on connecting humans that would never do
otherise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
and broadening the
boundries
Correct your spelling
boundaries
of many individuals,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
nationalism and racism declined.
Therefore
,
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Olympics
show examples
olympics
Correct article usage
the olympics
show examples
helped on creating a more peaceful and understanding
world
.
For instance
, there are historical examples where 2 top athletes from rival countries created a friendly bond together through the passion they shared for the same sport, giving the right example to the citizens that were watching the
boradcasted
Correct your spelling
broadcasted
broadcast
event. On the other side of the spectrum, plenty of
people
claim that the
Olympics
are not offering
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
to the
world
to justify their cost. It is indeed true that the organization of the event is extremely
costy
Correct your spelling
costly
, especially in
world
Add an article
a world
show examples
where problems like
world
hunger and homelessness still exist.
Therefore
, it is wise to spend
this
enormous amount of money on tackling those issues rather than organizing a
sport
Change the verb form
sporting
show examples
event. In conclusion, I firmly believe that even though the humongous cost of organizing the Olympic
games
, they justify the expenses by helping on dealing with plenty of really crucial social problems that exist
globaly
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globally
and by contributing to
wolrd
Correct your spelling
world
peace and stability.
Submitted by Joanna on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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