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Band 3

Some individuals feel that working from home, while of benefit to employees, is actually a drawback for employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #home #benefit #employees #drawback #employers
Since the technology for communicating remotely has been developed recently, it made workers
to
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apply
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be able to
work
 at their home.
This
 is beneficial for employees especially for people who felt going to
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 place is a burden to them.
However
, from the perspective of employers,
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
 remotely have some problems;
therefore
, in my view, I tend to agree
to
Change preposition
with
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 the premise.
Firstly
, the employers will be difficult to check whether the staffs are doing their
job
 properly. When the workers
work
 at
office
Add an article
the office
an office
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, the bosses can see what they are doing because they see each other face to face.
On the other hand
, if individuals
work
 from home, usually they do not show themself even though they are using technology that can so that the boss cannot realize when they are making mistake or even doing other things.　　
Secondly
, the managers will find
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
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difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
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 to maintain the productivity of the staffs. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
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normal
work
, the bosses communicate with the workers to build a close relationship and make a comfortable atmosphere that develops the individuals’ productivity.
However
, for the situation of remotely working, the break time that employees can chat with their manager will
be lessen
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be lessened
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;
therefore
, the communication between them and efficiency of the
job
 will
also
 decrease. In conclusion, I tend to agree with the premise because the employers cannot see what the staffs are doing during the
job
 and make a better relationship with the
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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