IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some individuals feel that working from home, while of benefit to employees, is actually a drawback for employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #home #benefit #employees #drawback #employers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since the technology for communicating remotely has been developed recently, it made workers
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be able to
work
Use synonyms
 at their home.
This
Linking Words
 is beneficial for employees especially for people who felt going to
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 place is a burden to them.
However
Linking Words
, from the perspective of employers,
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 remotely have some problems;
therefore
Linking Words
, in my view, I tend to agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the premise.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the employers will be difficult to check whether the staffs are doing their
job
Use synonyms
 properly. When the workers
work
Use synonyms
 at
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
, the bosses can see what they are doing because they see each other face to face.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if individuals
work
Use synonyms
 from home, usually they do not show themself even though they are using technology that can so that the boss cannot realize when they are making mistake or even doing other things.　　
Secondly
Linking Words
, the managers will find
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
show examples
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 to maintain the productivity of the staffs. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal
work
Use synonyms
, the bosses communicate with the workers to build a close relationship and make a comfortable atmosphere that develops the individuals’ productivity.
However
Linking Words
, for the situation of remotely working, the break time that employees can chat with their manager will
be lessen
Change the verb form
be lessened
show examples
;
therefore
Linking Words
, the communication between them and efficiency of the
job
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 decrease. In conclusion, I tend to agree with the premise because the employers cannot see what the staffs are doing during the
job
Use synonyms
 and make a better relationship with the
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: