The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no doubt that technology has been helped to keep
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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connected independently
which
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in which

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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part of the globe we live.
However
,
internet
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the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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also
contributes to self-isolation and unsociable individuals. I totally agree with
this
statement, and in
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of
this
argument.   In recent years,
one
of the most significant advents of cyberspace is the ability
of staying
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to stay

It appears that you have used the preposition of before the verb staying in this sentence. Consider using the to-infinitive form of the verb.

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connected
one
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to one

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another. Most
people
nowadays can talk with friends and family despite
of
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apply

The preposition of after despite may be unecessary. Consider removing the second preposition.

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their geographical distance.
For example
,
one
of my sisters lived abroad for more than a year, regardless
the
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of the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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distance we were able to keep
contact
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in contact

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with her over Facebook time, Skype or WhatsApp.
On the other hand
, innovation in telecommunication has raised some drawbacks,
one
of them is the fact that some
people
might
became
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become

The verb became after the modal verb might does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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addicted to it, the consequences of
this
can be self-reclusion, isolation and ultimately, severe depression and anxiety. To illustrate
this
scenario, it is not rare to see
people
having a meal while talking or exchanging text messages in front of a friend, who in turn is doing the same. Another example,
one
of my friends can’t sleep before tweaking her Instagram and
double check
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double-check

It appears that double check is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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her WhatsApp
first
thing in the morning,
therefore
, it has started to affect her personal and professional life. It is my understanding that
people
need to develop self-awareness, spend more time outside their homes, without been
all time
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all-time

It appears that all time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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plugged
on
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into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their technological devices,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter as a result. Consider adding the comma(s).

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they will suffer less from stress, depression, self-isolation and internet addiction. Conclusion In conclusion,
although
internet
Add an article
the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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can facilitate our communications and connection with each other despite
distance
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the distance

The noun phrase distance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, it can
also
cause harmful issues
such
as solitude, confinement and other major issues. In my opinion, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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