IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #matter #hand #people #statements
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There is no doubt that technology has been helped to keep
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us
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 connected independently
which
Change preposition
in which
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 part of the globe we live.
However
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,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
also
Linking Words
 contributes to self-isolation and unsociable individuals. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides of
this
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 argument.   In recent years,
one
Use synonyms
 of the most significant advents of cyberspace is the ability
of staying
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to stay
show examples
 connected
Use synonyms
one
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to one
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 another. Most
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays can talk with friends and family despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their geographical distance.
For example
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 of my sisters lived abroad for more than a year, regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
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 distance we were able to keep
contact
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in contact
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 with her over Facebook time, Skype or WhatsApp.
On the other hand
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, innovation in telecommunication has raised some drawbacks,
one
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 of them is the fact that some
people
Use synonyms
 might
became
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become
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 addicted to it, the consequences of
this
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 can be self-reclusion, isolation and ultimately, severe depression and anxiety. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
 scenario, it is not rare to see
people
Use synonyms
 having a meal while talking or exchanging text messages in front of a friend, who in turn is doing the same. Another example,
one
Use synonyms
 of my friends can’t sleep before tweaking her Instagram and
double check
Add a hyphen
double-check
show examples
 her WhatsApp
first
Linking Words
 thing in the morning,
therefore
Linking Words
, it has started to affect her personal and professional life. It is my understanding that
people
Use synonyms
 need to develop self-awareness, spend more time outside their homes, without been
all time
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all-time
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 plugged
on
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into
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 their technological devices,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
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 they will suffer less from stress, depression, self-isolation and internet addiction. Conclusion In conclusion,
although
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internet
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the internet
show examples
 can facilitate our communications and connection with each other despite
distance
Add an article
the distance
show examples
, it can
also
Linking Words
 cause harmful issues
such
Linking Words
 as solitude, confinement and other major issues. In my opinion, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by agenciabrushup on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connected
  • isolation
  • instant messaging
  • video calls
  • social media
  • virtual communities
  • sense of belonging
  • superficial relationships
  • meaningful interactions
  • excessive use
  • in-person socialization
  • social networks
  • self-expression
  • fade away
  • introverted individuals
What to do next:
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