IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Over the last few decade the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue?

#decade #media #image #women
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It is inevitable that our appearance can be perceived as good or bad by people.In recent times,
women
Use synonyms
 who are not on the fat are often showcased as perfect.
This
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 essay will discuss the issues and how to tackle them. The possible major problem is the way plus
size
Use synonyms
women
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 are being bullied.
Firstly
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,fat
women
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 face numerous harassment from the young and the old.
For instance
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, a big
size
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 lady in the
university
Change the capitalization
University
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 of Ibadan in Nigeria was sexually harassed by her colleague after lectures on a weekday.
As a result
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,she lost her self-confidence and withdrawal completely
out of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school.
Furthermore
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,
lately
Add a comma
,lately
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 there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been an increased surge of
women
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 who have committed suicide.Because,most chubby
women
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 are not expressive,so they prefer not to speak up when faced with
such
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situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
.
In addition
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,some plus
size
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 females have resulted to go for enhancement surgery and
this
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 has led to their death. Regarding the possible solution is probably a consultation with a mental health therapist. They would be free to talk about their challenges.
Also
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 having supportive and enlightened family and friends go a long way in aborting any suicidal thoughts.
For instance
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,a friend of mine was advised by her friend to visit the therapist physician after having a session with her she felt much better about herself. In conclusion,
although
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 the major issues that arise from
women
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 being on the big
size
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 are reduced
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
 and they
ending
Change the form of the verb
end
show examples
 their life.
Therefore
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,being with the right set of people that would inspire and encourage them would be of great benefit.
Submitted by ladeladi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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