IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

#students #study #colleges #universities #places
Lots of people prefer to leave their hometown to take a graduation course in another city.
Although
this
 decision makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be far away from their loved ones, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks because they can move to a place with more professional opportunities and a higher quality of
life
. When people are studying away from home, they can’t be in physical touch with family and friends.
This
 is something that makes them feel lonely and sad, mainly over the
first
year
 of college when difficulties to adapt
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the new city can
happens
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
, but
this
 situation is usually overcome in a few months.
For instance
, many international undergraduates look for psychological help in the health service system of Canada during the
first
year
 of college, and most of them get over in less than one
year
.
On the other hand
, these students usually go to study in cities with better work opportunities and good
life
 quality comparing to their mother city. They experience living a different
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, being in touch with people from different places and cultures, acquiring more knowledge and having access to a wealthier
life
.
For example
, research has shown that most Indian students of
third
-level courses in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom got better jobs after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduation, improving their earnings after the degree, which allow them to help their parents financially. Despite the fact that the distance from family and friends could cause sorrow and loneliness in the
first
year
 of college,
this
 is something that can be surpassed, and the advantages of getting a higher
life
 quality and
also
 help your family to have a better
life
 outweigh it by far.
Submitted by pbgusmao on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: