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Band 4

In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found on the internet and, therefore, there is no need for museums. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

#museums #information #culture #history #internet
Museums
 play a vital role in preserving information over past centuries. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 some dwellers ponder that the
internet
 has detailed access to culture and history.
This
 essay will discuss the importance of
museums
 over the
internet
.
To begin
 with , no one can deny the fact that
museums
 provide live evidence of real
sculputures
Correct your spelling
sculptures
 which
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 cannot provide. It only shows pictures of the objects to its viewers and it
become
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becomes
show examples
 difficult to judge the size and shape of
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
.
For example
, If the person
have
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has
show examples
 to see the sword of tipu
sutan
Correct your spelling
sultan
suntan
sun
 , the viewer
have
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has
show examples
 to visit
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
 in order to see the real picture.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, it only depicts the photos with no live view.
Secondly
, Usually on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Add a comma
,internet
show examples
 the information provided cannot be real , as it
is alter
Change the verb form
is altered
show examples
 by some websites for their benefits.
Where as
Correct your spelling
Whereas
show examples
museums
 produce realistic information under the
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
 of government and historical experts. So,
this
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 people to better understand the
istory
Correct your spelling
history
story
victory
. One more point can be added in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour that
museums
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 in economical development in the state. To explain in detail,
fee
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the fee
show examples
 collected from the
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 can
be use
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be used
show examples
 by
government
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the government
show examples
 for the development of
Correct your spelling
fracture
infracture
Correct article usage
the infracture
show examples
 and health sector.
For instance
, the museum in
india
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India
show examples
 attracts 1 million visitors every year and it
increase
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increases
show examples
 the popularity around the world. Reaffirming the facts, it can
concluded
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be concluded
conclude
show examples
 from the data that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 will never able to replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums
, as it provides
real
Add an article
a real
show examples
 picture of culture, art and religion, which is not available on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by kanwarsinghkanwar1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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