IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society?

#tourism #industry #individuals #society
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It is true that the
tourism
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 industry is growing at a fast pace and
this
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 trend will continue for the
next
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 decades. In
this
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 essay, I am going to present what are, in my opinion, the developments provided by
tourism
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 for both
individuals
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 and
society
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. I believe
tourism
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 brings some remarkable benefits to
individuals
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.
First
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,
tourism
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 has an important role in
people
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's health.
For instance
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, according to some recent researches,
tourism
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 is vital to restore mental health condition because it offers some biological mechanisms to relieve stress.
Second
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,
tourism
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 is an amazing multicultural experience, which certainly leads
people
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 to personal growth.
This
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 is because
people
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 learn about other cultures and customs and,
therefore
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, they understand how to live in
society
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.
Furthermore
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, not only
tourism
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 is beneficial to
individuals
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 but
also
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 to
society
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. Some countries rely completely on
tourism
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 to create job and increase their economy.
For example
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, Malta is a country where
tourism
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 has a crucial role in their economic growth and, for
this
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 reason, the government invests a lot of money to develop their attractiveness.
In addition
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, I think
tourism
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 is important to promote our understanding that we are all humans.
In other words
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, seeing different
people
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 and cultures builds a better
society
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 because it offers
people
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 the experience necessary to develop their sense of community. In conclusion, I think
tourism
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 has a positive impact on both
individuals
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 and
society
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.
Individuals
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 can improve their health and their understanding of other cultures. At the same time,
tourism
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 helps countries to expand their economy, and most importantly, helps
society
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 to develop as a whole.
Submitted by samirzakur on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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