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Writing Samples
Band 5

Getting promotions is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

#promotions #drives #people #work #workplace #promotion #factors #influence
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Promotion
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 is the real goal of
people
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 for which they
work
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 hard and make
efforts
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.
People
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 make
efforts
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 for
promotion
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 to earn better.
People
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work
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 better to get
appreciation
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 from their seniors and top-level management.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
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 quench for
promotions
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 because they want to earn better. If
people
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 promote to
senior
Add an article
the senior
show examples
 designation, they get better salaries.
People
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 are aware that
promotion
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 will lead to better income.
This
Linking Words
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic human nature to
work
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 hard for monetary benefits because they believe better money means
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life for them. They consider those better living standards can be achieved with better salaries so they
work
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 hard for
promotions
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
employees
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 of Google admitted that they
work
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 hard for
promotions
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 because they desire
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
better wages.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
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work
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 hard for
promotions
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 for better pay.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
appreciation
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 is the other factor
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 causes
people
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 to
work
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 hard.
Employees
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 are human
first
Linking Words
. Every human works hard
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they are motivated and others
appericiate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
 their
work
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. Everyone quests for the
appreciation
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 of their seniors.
This
Linking Words
 is the basic feature of a human. If they are appreciated
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
, they will keep making
efforts
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 and doing hard
work
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
employees
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 of HCL admitted that they stop their endeavours
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if their boss does not appreciate them.
Hence
Linking Words
,
appreciation
Use synonyms
 is the other thing
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 seek along with
promotion
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. In conclusion,
employees
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 seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
promotion
Use synonyms
 for better salaries. The other thing they quench for and make enormous
efforts
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 is
Use synonyms
appreciation
Add an article
an appreciation
the appreciation
show examples
 of the quality of the
work
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 they do.
Submitted by Priya on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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