An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

#children #food #drinks #nutrition #diet #rise #obesity #steps

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Over the past few years, youngsters being affected by

obesity

Use synonyms

had been on the rise.

This

Linking Words

is mainly due to their diet which contains a lot of fat.

As a result

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, they are facing many health issues at a very young age.

Initially

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this

Linking Words

essay addresses the problems caused by

obesity

Use synonyms

and in the latter half, feasible solutions are answered.

Firstly

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, the most frequently observed issue because of

obesity

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

heart related

Add a hyphen

heart-related

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problems. In many

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

obese cases, it is a trend that

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

blocks the blood movement near the heart area. If a person faces

this

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

ripe age, it could lead to

heart

Correct article usage

a heart

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attack and soon life expectancy starts to decrease.

Secondly

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, children become fragile physically.

For example

Linking Words

, if a child who likes to play an outdoor sport like cricket cannot run for long as the body fat had increased. To tackle these issues there are two effective solutions. It is understood that a child gets tempted to aerated drinks and fast food easily as they are delicious. It should be the responsibility of parents and elders to raise them in a disciplined manner.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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it is impossible to never consume it again, they should be warned about the negatives of

over consumption

Correct your spelling

overconsumption

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and limit it in

diet

Add an article

the diet

show examples

. Another

work around

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workaround

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is to do physical exercise frequently.

This

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way even if fat is consumed, it will burn out. To summarize, today plenty of adolescents are affected by

obesity

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because of consuming malnutrition food. Guidance from elders about

the

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apply

show examples

diet and daily exercises are the best ways to counter

this

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issue naturally.

This

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way child gets to keep his body in shape.

Submitted by avskkrish80 on Sun Apr 11 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

in the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment ,not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there for this problem?

Write about the following topic: Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? Give reasons for your answer.

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.