In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people feel that this is complete wrong.However others sport this becouse they feel that it provides valuable work expirence.What is your opinion on this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Correct your spelling
Children's
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
show examples
are known as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nation builder.They are the future of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.In many
nations
Add a comma
,nations
show examples
youngsters
Use synonyms
are involved in some types of
employments
Correct your spelling
employment
show examples
.Some individuals believe that
this
Linking Words
is
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
wrong and while others
are agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
with
this
Linking Words
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
they think that it gives
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
and
expirence
Correct your spelling
experience
about
work
Use synonyms
.In upcoming
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
im
Correct your spelling
I'm
going to discuss my views.
To begin
Linking Words
with,engaging adolescent
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
paid works has several drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the
youngsters
Use synonyms
are make
Change the verb form
are made
show examples
to
work
Use synonyms
for longer hours at
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
wage and
this
Linking Words
will
demotivates
Change the verb form
demotivate
show examples
them to do
work
Use synonyms
in future.
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
Secondary
,some times
youngsters
Use synonyms
start pursuing ill behaviour
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
of the
infulence
Correct your spelling
influence
of
co-worker
Add an article
a co-worker
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,while working with adult workers some
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
also
Linking Words
become
drug
Add an article
a drug
show examples
addict and learn bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
from them.
Thus
Linking Words
,
youngsters
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
come under the burden of studies and family responsibilities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,involving
youngsters
Use synonyms
in some kind of paid
work
Use synonyms
will teach them the value of money and
work
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
will make them spending money wisely.
As a result
Linking Words
,they become financially educated and independent.
Therefore
Linking Words
,they become matured in tackling the challenges of life To conclude,in my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
although
Linking Words
employment
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
expirence
Correct your spelling
experience
and make them matured.
However
Linking Words
,it
also
Linking Words
put
burden
Add an article
the burden
a burden
show examples
on the
Change to a genitive case
youngster's
youngsters'
show examples
youngsters
Use synonyms
life and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
bad impact on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
studies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: