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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people feel that this is complete wrong.However others sport this becouse they feel that it provides valuable work expirence.What is your opinion on this.

#countries #children #work #people #sport #becouse #expirence
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Children's
Childrens
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Children
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 are known as
a
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apply
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nation builder.They are the future of
country
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the country
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.In many
nations
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,nations
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youngsters
 are involved in some types of
employments
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employment
show examples
.Some individuals believe that
this
 is
totaly
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totally
 wrong and while others
are agree
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agree
show examples
 with
this
becouse
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because
 they think that it gives
a knowledge
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knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 and
expirence
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experience
 about
work
.In upcoming
paragraphs
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,paragraphs
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im
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I'm
 going to discuss my views.
To begin
 with,engaging adolescent
into
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in
show examples
 paid works has several drawbacks.
Firstly
,the
youngsters
are make
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are made
show examples
 to
work
 for longer hours at
low
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a low
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 wage and
this
 will
demotivates
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demotivate
show examples
 them to do
work
 in future.
Secondaly
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Secondly
Secondary
,some times
youngsters
 start pursuing ill behaviour
becouse
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because
 of the
infulence
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influence
 of
co-worker
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a co-worker
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.
For example
,while working with adult workers some
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children
childrens
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children
show examples
also
 become
drug
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a drug
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 addict and learn bad
habbits
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habits
 from them.
Thus
,
youngsters
also
 come under the burden of studies and family responsibilities.
On the other hand
,involving
youngsters
 in some kind of paid
work
 will teach them the value of money and
work
 and
this
 will make them spending money wisely.
As a result
,they become financially educated and independent.
Therefore
,they become matured in tackling the challenges of life To conclude,in my
opinon
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opinion
although
 employment
provide
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provides
show examples
expirence
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experience
 and make them matured.
However
,it
also
 put
burden
Add an article
the burden
a burden
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 on the
Change to a genitive case
youngster's
youngsters'
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youngsters
 life and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 bad impact on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 studies.
Submitted by kaur39082 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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