In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people feel that this is complete wrong.However others sport this becouse they feel that it provides valuable work expirence.What is your opinion on this.

#countries #children #work #people #sport #becouse #expirence

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Children's

Childrens

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Children

show examples

are known as

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apply

show examples

nation builder.They are the future of

country

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the country

show examples

.In many

nations

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,nations

show examples

youngsters

are involved in some types of

employments

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employment

show examples

.Some individuals believe that

this

totaly

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totally

wrong and while others

are agree

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agree

show examples

with

this

becouse

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because

they think that it gives

a knowledge

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knowledge

a piece of knowledge

show examples

and

expirence

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experience

about

work

.In upcoming

paragraphs

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,paragraphs

show examples

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I'm

going to discuss my views.

To begin

with,engaging adolescent

into

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show examples

paid works has several drawbacks.

Firstly

,the

youngsters

are make

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are made

show examples

work

for longer hours at

low

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a low

show examples

wage and

this

will

demotivates

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demotivate

show examples

them to do

work

in future.

Secondaly

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Secondly

Secondary

,some times

youngsters

start pursuing ill behaviour

becouse

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because

of the

infulence

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influence

co-worker

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a co-worker

show examples

For example

,while working with adult workers some

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children

childrens

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children

show examples

also

become

drug

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a drug

show examples

addict and learn bad

habbits

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habits

from them.

Thus

youngsters

also

come under the burden of studies and family responsibilities.

On the other hand

,involving

youngsters

in some kind of paid

work

will teach them the value of money and

work

and

this

will make them spending money wisely.

As a result

,they become financially educated and independent.

Therefore

,they become matured in tackling the challenges of life To conclude,in my

opinon

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opinion

although

employment

provide

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provides

show examples

expirence

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experience

and make them matured.

However

,it

also

put

burden

Add an article

the burden

a burden

show examples

on the

Change to a genitive case

youngster's

youngsters'

show examples

youngsters

life and

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Change the article

show examples

bad impact on

thier

Correct your spelling

their

studies.

Submitted by kaur39082 on Tue Apr 13 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people feel that this is complete wrong.However others sport this becouse they feel that it provides valuable work expirence.What is your opinion on this.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

Some people believe that if a police officer carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries, women now are able to join the armed forces on equal basis with men. However, some people feel that only men should be members of the army, navy or Air Force. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals.Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.