In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people feel that this is complete wrong.However others sport this becouse they feel that it provides valuable work expirence.What is your opinion on this.

#countries #children #work #people #sport #becouse #expirence

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Correct your spelling

Children's

Childrens

Correct your spelling

Children

show examples

are known as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nation builder.They are the future of

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

.In many

nations

Add a comma

,nations

show examples

youngsters

Use synonyms

are involved in some types of

employments

Correct your spelling

employment

show examples

.Some individuals believe that

this

Linking Words

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

wrong and while others

are agree

Change the verb form

agree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

they think that it gives

a knowledge

Remove the article

knowledge

a piece of knowledge

show examples

and

expirence

Correct your spelling

experience

about

work

Use synonyms

.In upcoming

paragraphs

Add a comma

,paragraphs

show examples

Correct your spelling

I'm

going to discuss my views.

To begin

Linking Words

with,engaging adolescent

into

Change preposition

show examples

paid works has several drawbacks.

Firstly

Linking Words

,the

youngsters

Use synonyms

are make

Change the verb form

are made

show examples

work

Use synonyms

for longer hours at

low

Add an article

a low

show examples

wage and

this

Linking Words

will

demotivates

Change the verb form

demotivate

show examples

them to do

work

Use synonyms

in future.

Secondaly

Correct your spelling

Secondly

Secondary

,some times

youngsters

Use synonyms

start pursuing ill behaviour

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

of the

infulence

Correct your spelling

influence

co-worker

Add an article

a co-worker

show examples

For example

Linking Words

,while working with adult workers some

Correct your spelling

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

also

Linking Words

become

drug

Add an article

a drug

show examples

addict and learn bad

habbits

Correct your spelling

habits

from them.

Thus

Linking Words

youngsters

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

come under the burden of studies and family responsibilities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,involving

youngsters

Use synonyms

in some kind of paid

work

Use synonyms

will teach them the value of money and

work

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

will make them spending money wisely.

As a result

Linking Words

,they become financially educated and independent.

Therefore

Linking Words

,they become matured in tackling the challenges of life To conclude,in my

opinon

Correct your spelling

opinion

although

Linking Words

employment

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

expirence

Correct your spelling

experience

and make them matured.

However

Linking Words

,it

also

Linking Words

put

burden

Add an article

the burden

a burden

show examples

on the

Change to a genitive case

youngster's

youngsters'

show examples

youngsters

Use synonyms

life and

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Change the article

show examples

bad impact on

thier

Correct your spelling

their

studies.

Submitted by kaur39082 on Tue Apr 13 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

196 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the enviroment. Do the disadvantages of International tourism outweight the advantages?
While several international tourist locations have enormous development in infrastrecture and ecomomic, it is often argued that it is detrimental to the local inhabitants and environment. I believe that global tourism development has more advantages comparing to the diadvantages which I will explain in this essay.
5.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the houses or buildings they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In some places, people are getting more and more interested in searching the history of the buildings they live in. That is a fascinating question. I believe that we are curious about something, and we want to find the answer of it. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate my view of the point on it.
6.5
band
Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this modern world, digital devices have been involved in all aspects of humanity.Even classrooms are among the places where these items are in use. the debate that mobile phones should not be used by offspring and youngsters is an argument that both agree and disagree by so many.The two sides of this argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in this essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
5.5
band
Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary world, Whether Scientific research should be funded and controlled by governments or private organizations has become a topic of widespread debate. I firmly believe that Private organizations should remain in charge for this task and i will delve into the reaons for this arguement in this essay.
7.5
band
Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?
Many animals around the world are facing the risk of extinction in the wild, and this is happening for several reasons. One major cause is habitat destruction due to human activities such as deforestation, urbanization, and agriculture. As forests and other natural environments are cleared to make way for farms, cities, or industries, animals lose their homes and sources of food, leading to population declines. Additionally, climate change is altering ecosystems, making it difficult for some species to survive. For example, polar bears are struggling as ice caps melt, and many species are affected by rising temperatures and changes in weather patterns.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people feel that this is complete wrong.However others sport this becouse they feel that it provides valuable work expirence.What is your opinion on this.

Fully explain your ideas

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the enviroment. Do the disadvantages of International tourism outweight the advantages?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the houses or buildings they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?