IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why do you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#businesses #employees #lives #company #support
Work
 is the
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 ,without
work
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 difficult to survive on the earth. Employer
hire
Change the verb form
hires
show examples
 the employees,they spend their full
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working for the company.I Agree with
this
 statement many
employer
Change to a plural noun
employers
show examples
 gave
execessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
work
 to
workers
.
Furthermore
,
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 men gave
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of
work
 to increase the production of
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 but it
Replace the word
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 the health of
workers
 because it leads
mental
Change preposition
to mental
show examples
 and physical
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
.
Many
Replace the quantifier
Much
show examples
 big
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
 wants more profit from firms
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 increasing the working hours, it hired
ony
Correct your spelling
one
on
only
 its limited
workers
 for
work
.
For instance
,
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
Correct your spelling
pressure
presuure
Change preposition
of presuure
show examples
 of the
individiuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increase the chances of faults and mistakes. some times major accidents
are happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
show examples
in the companies .
On the other hand
, if
workers
 are busy
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
 it
also
effect
Change the verb form
effects
show examples
 their
presonal
Correct your spelling
personal
life
.In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era , husband and wife both are working they do not have
time
 to spend with each other it
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
enhances
 the chances of family deprivations.
Moreover
, they do not spend
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
time
 with children.
Child
Add an article
A child
show examples
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
 alone and
frusted
Correct your spelling
frustrated
,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 adult
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 wrong directions in their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 because of
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
 environment. Overview,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 should
mainatined
Correct your spelling
maintained
maintain
 the balance between
work
 and
life
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should limited
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of hours for working peoples in
busineses
Correct your spelling
business
businesses
.People should
gave
Change the verb form
give
show examples
time
 to own families for outings and small celebrations.It
also
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 the mental and physical stress of
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
. Happiness is key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 healthy
life
Submitted by navneetjoia25 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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