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Band 4.5

Some people believe online reading material should only be used for a cild to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #cild
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There is an idea that raising governmental taxes on junk
food
Use synonyms
, which is the main reason for different illnesses may decrease the number of people who have a
health
Use synonyms
 problem. Personally, I do not totally agree, because supposed action may lead to economic issues in states.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
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 the given suggestion which indeed could improve the physical state of a population. Today a lot of people prefer to eat fast
food
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 which is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their
health
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.
For example
Linking Words
, approximately 45% of American citizens have obesity because of frequent eating of junk
food
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.
Thus
Linking Words
,
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of taxes on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful meal in countries, as the USA possibly make the situation better. In spite of
such
Linking Words
 action can have a positive impact on the
health
Use synonyms
 of the population, there are could be several negative effects.
First
Linking Words
 of all, if humans do not stop eating and buy fast
food
Use synonyms
, they will have to increase their living expectancy and it can make a worse financial situation in society.
In addition
Linking Words
, some people probably do not understand
this
Linking Words
 measure, why government raise the price on their favourite and cheap meal. ,
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 it can cause social demonstrations. So, the raising of taxes can be dangerous. In conclusion, the authority of some countries may try to improve the
health
Use synonyms
 of the population in their states by escalating prices on fast
food
Use synonyms
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 we should not forget about possible consequences
such
Linking Words
 as the falling level of the economy and social protests.
Submitted by Dana on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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