IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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Some people argue that
space
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exploration
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 has had more to do with national pride than international effort. How do you think
space
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exploration
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 will change in the future? From
an
Correct article usage
apply
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archaic
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
space
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exploration
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 has been one of the dreams of
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world
Add an article
the world
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 population. After
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World
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 War 2 certain developed
countries
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 established
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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space
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exploration
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is the term of
international
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an international
the international
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 effort
,
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apply
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 because in
this
Linking Words
 situation
countries
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 have to collaborate and share the risks, opportunities of
such
Linking Words
 explorations.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
countries
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 which are engaged in
space
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exploration
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 learn a lot from each other during their collaboration.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is a commitment between Russia and China to help each other for improving the results in
this
Linking Words
 sphere. The scholar who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 worked in these explorations have to forget about their pride and concentrate
around
Change preposition
on
show examples
 international effort.
Secondly
Linking Words
, after
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World
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 War 2
came
Add the preposition
tocame
show examples
 The Cold War which was between
Soviet
Correct article usage
the Soviet
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 Union and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. These
countries
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 try to outfly each other in
Space
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Exploration
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. The
first
Linking Words
 spacecraft was launched by
Soviet
Correct article usage
the Soviet
show examples
 Union which shocked all media organizations of the
world
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 as well as
population
Correct article usage
the population
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. It was
dramatically
Add an article
a dramatically
show examples
 important change in the
Space
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Exploration
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 Industry of the
world
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.
Thirdly
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, nowadays several
countries
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 are independently established their own
Space
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Exploration
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 Centers. They try to attract
serious
Change the article
a serious
the serious
show examples
 number of scholars for
exploration
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instead
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 of high wages. But in the vast majority of
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countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 it is a term of national pride,
hence
Linking Words
 it is hard to attract
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
 of scholars from these
countries
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the vast majority of the
countries
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 which are engaged in
space
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exploration
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 established their industry independently, they have to cooperate, collaborate with other nations for evolving their industry.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, it is impossible to follow the new trends and tendencies of
World
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Space
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Exploration
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.
Submitted by Farid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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