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Band 4.5

Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Some people argue that
space
exploration
 has had more to do with national pride than international effort. How do you think
space
exploration
 will change in the future? From
an
Correct article usage
apply
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archaic
times
Add a comma
,times
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space
exploration
 has been one of the dreams of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 population. After
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World
 War 2 certain developed
countries
 established
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
space
exploration
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is the term of
international
Add an article
an international
the international
show examples
 effort
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because in
this
 situation
countries
 have to collaborate and share the risks, opportunities of
such
 explorations.
Firstly
, the
countries
 which are engaged in
space
exploration
 learn a lot from each other during their collaboration.
For instance
, there is a commitment between Russia and China to help each other for improving the results in
this
 sphere. The scholar who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 worked in these explorations have to forget about their pride and concentrate
around
Change preposition
on
show examples
 international effort.
Secondly
, after
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World
 War 2
came
Add the preposition
tocame
show examples
 The Cold War which was between
Soviet
Correct article usage
the Soviet
show examples
 Union and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. These
countries
 try to outfly each other in
Space
Exploration
. The
first
 spacecraft was launched by
Soviet
Correct article usage
the Soviet
show examples
 Union which shocked all media organizations of the
world
 as well as
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
. It was
dramatically
Add an article
a dramatically
show examples
 important change in the
Space
Exploration
 Industry of the
world
.
Thirdly
, nowadays several
countries
 are independently established their own
Space
Exploration
 Centers. They try to attract
serious
Change the article
a serious
the serious
show examples
 number of scholars for
exploration
instead
 of high wages. But in the vast majority of
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 it is a term of national pride,
hence
 it is hard to attract
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
 of scholars from these
countries
. In conclusion,
although
 the vast majority of the
countries
 which are engaged in
space
exploration
 established their industry independently, they have to cooperate, collaborate with other nations for evolving their industry.
Otherwise
, it is impossible to follow the new trends and tendencies of
World
Space
Exploration
.
Submitted by Farid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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