IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #services
Government
 investment
are
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is
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 useful for different sector of society for development and to
icrease
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increase
 standard of living.investments are usually utilized on public sector
undertaking
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undertakings
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such
 as banks and
infrastructure related
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infrastructure-related
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 projects.
government
 should prioritize public in
spendind
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spending
 rather than on arts and music.
thus
 it will benefit customers and save their precious time. we will try to address all those issues regarding
people
disaggrement
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disagreement
 on investment spendings. unarguably, it is the
government
 duty to protect
rights
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the rights
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 of
people
 by providing easy efficient and quick
services
hassle free
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hassle-free
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. spending should be more on building roads, construction of dams, solar energy and clean water.
government
 jobs are the most prefered one in
this
 time of
privitisation
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privatisation
 and it is considered as
a
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apply
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job security. money should
be spend
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be spent
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 on health care issue which is
huge
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a huge
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 challenge in today life. many
people
 believe to spend more on public
sevicse
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service
services
 rather than on drama and theatre projects is
unwise
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an unwise
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approach
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to approach
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 and in a sense neglecting. all the institution play
important
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an important
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 part in
the
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apply
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society and
people
 spend money on watch movie listening to music contribute to
government
 tax collection.
an
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a
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 collective
approachj
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approach
 required to ensure
survival
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the survival
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 of those spending their time in arts and cinema to entertain
people
. more emphasis on public
services
increase
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increases
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gap
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the gap
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 between the two different
section
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sections
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 resulting in a conflict or crisis.
for
instance
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,instance
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 if
government
 banks pump more money in the economy it will
increase
purchasing
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the purchasing
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 power of
people
 and spending on shopping, cinema, music is inevitable. in
this
 scenario both the section will benefit equally.
increase
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An increase
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 in demand will allow
service
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the service
a service
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 provider to secure more loans
fron
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from
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government
goverment
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the goverment
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 to
increase
 their capacity. it is to be concluded that both
the
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apply
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sections require equal attention from
government
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the government
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. public
services
 should be
priortized
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prioritized
 for excellent health
services
 and infrastructure because these two are the backbone of society. all the details make
impession
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impression
 to be
ebsure
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sure
ensure
 public spending to uplift
people
 to cope up with arising challenges like covid19. it is in the interest of
people
 as well in
interest
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the interest
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 of
country
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the country
show examples
.
Submitted by bhinder7780 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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