IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Government
Use synonyms
 investment
are
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is
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 useful for different sector of society for development and to
icrease
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increase
 standard of living.investments are usually utilized on public sector
undertaking
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undertakings
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such
Linking Words
 as banks and
infrastructure related
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infrastructure-related
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 projects.
government
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 should prioritize public in
spendind
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spending
 rather than on arts and music.
thus
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 it will benefit customers and save their precious time. we will try to address all those issues regarding
people
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disaggrement
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disagreement
 on investment spendings. unarguably, it is the
government
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 duty to protect
rights
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the rights
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 of
people
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 by providing easy efficient and quick
services
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hassle free
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hassle-free
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. spending should be more on building roads, construction of dams, solar energy and clean water.
government
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 jobs are the most prefered one in
this
Linking Words
 time of
privitisation
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privatisation
 and it is considered as
a
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apply
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job security. money should
be spend
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be spent
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 on health care issue which is
huge
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a huge
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 challenge in today life. many
people
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 believe to spend more on public
sevicse
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service
services
 rather than on drama and theatre projects is
unwise
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an unwise
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approach
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to approach
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 and in a sense neglecting. all the institution play
important
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an important
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 part in
the
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apply
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society and
people
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 spend money on watch movie listening to music contribute to
government
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 tax collection.
an
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a
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 collective
approachj
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approach
 required to ensure
survival
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the survival
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 of those spending their time in arts and cinema to entertain
people
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. more emphasis on public
services
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Use synonyms
increase
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increases
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gap
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the gap
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 between the two different
section
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sections
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 resulting in a conflict or crisis.
for
Linking Words
instance
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,instance
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 if
government
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 banks pump more money in the economy it will
increase
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purchasing
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the purchasing
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 power of
people
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 and spending on shopping, cinema, music is inevitable. in
this
Linking Words
 scenario both the section will benefit equally.
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increase
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An increase
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 in demand will allow
service
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the service
a service
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 provider to secure more loans
fron
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from
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government
goverment
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the goverment
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 to
increase
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 their capacity. it is to be concluded that both
the
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apply
show examples
sections require equal attention from
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government
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the government
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. public
services
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 should be
priortized
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prioritized
 for excellent health
services
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 and infrastructure because these two are the backbone of society. all the details make
impession
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impression
 to be
ebsure
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sure
ensure
 public spending to uplift
people
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 to cope up with arising challenges like covid19. it is in the interest of
people
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 as well in
interest
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the interest
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 of
country
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the country
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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