IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #services
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Government
 investment
are
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is
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 useful for different sector of society for development and to
icrease
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increase
 standard of living.investments are usually utilized on public sector
undertaking
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undertakings
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such
 as banks and
infrastructure related
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infrastructure-related
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 projects.
government
 should prioritize public in
spendind
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spending
 rather than on arts and music.
thus
 it will benefit customers and save their precious time. we will try to address all those issues regarding
people
disaggrement
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disagreement
 on investment spendings. unarguably, it is the
government
 duty to protect
rights
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the rights
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 of
people
 by providing easy efficient and quick
services
hassle free
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hassle-free
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. spending should be more on building roads, construction of dams, solar energy and clean water.
government
 jobs are the most prefered one in
this
 time of
privitisation
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privatisation
 and it is considered as
a
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apply
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job security. money should
be spend
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be spent
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 on health care issue which is
huge
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a huge
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 challenge in today life. many
people
 believe to spend more on public
sevicse
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service
services
 rather than on drama and theatre projects is
unwise
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an unwise
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approach
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to approach
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 and in a sense neglecting. all the institution play
important
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an important
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 part in
the
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apply
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society and
people
 spend money on watch movie listening to music contribute to
government
 tax collection.
an
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a
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 collective
approachj
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approach
 required to ensure
survival
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the survival
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 of those spending their time in arts and cinema to entertain
people
. more emphasis on public
services
increase
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increases
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gap
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the gap
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 between the two different
section
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sections
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 resulting in a conflict or crisis.
for
instance
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,instance
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 if
government
 banks pump more money in the economy it will
increase
purchasing
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the purchasing
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 power of
people
 and spending on shopping, cinema, music is inevitable. in
this
 scenario both the section will benefit equally.
increase
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An increase
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 in demand will allow
service
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the service
a service
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 provider to secure more loans
fron
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from
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government
goverment
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the goverment
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 to
increase
 their capacity. it is to be concluded that both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sections require equal attention from
government
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the government
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. public
services
 should be
priortized
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prioritized
 for excellent health
services
 and infrastructure because these two are the backbone of society. all the details make
impession
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impression
 to be
ebsure
Correct your spelling
sure
ensure
 public spending to uplift
people
 to cope up with arising challenges like covid19. it is in the interest of
people
 as well in
interest
Add an article
the interest
show examples
 of
country
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the country
show examples
.
Submitted by bhinder7780 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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