Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?
Many individuals think that reducing environmental
pollution
and Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
housing Rephrase
apply
problems
can be one of the most viable solutions in Use synonyms
order
to prevent illness and disease. In my opinion, Use synonyms
although
many diseases that are related to environmental issues can be prevented by reducing Linking Words
pollution
, Use synonyms
personally
housing Change the word
personal
problems
should be considered in a wider view. The aim of Use synonyms
this
essay is to discuss the argument and it will represent relevant examples.
Linking Words
To begin
with, it is important to bear in mind that environmental Linking Words
pollution
can have many serious detrimental impacts on the human body. Use synonyms
For example
, it should be considered that lung cancers are more common Linking Words
amongst
people who have been living in the industrial region Change preposition
among
due to
air Linking Words
pollution
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, even noise Linking Words
pollution
can cause adverse effects on people’s Use synonyms
health
conditions mentally. Correct word choice
mental health
Consequently
, doubtlessly considerable effort should be spent by the authorities in Linking Words
order
to provide a better healthy environment to their societies.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, the lack of housing rights in conjunction with the absence of Linking Words
the
other fundamental rights Correct article usage
apply
such
as accessibility of clean water and paid employment, are able to cause rampant Linking Words
consequence
on individuals’ health. The improvement of people's condition should be provided by the government Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
however
the sole effort on housing Linking Words
problems
can not be beneficial in Use synonyms
order
to prevent illness. Use synonyms
Hence
, to create a healthier society, the government should make efforts on the fundamental Linking Words
right
of people in a wider view Fix the agreement mistake
rights
instead
of only solving housing Linking Words
problems
.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, many individuals Linking Words
thought
that efforts should be made by the government Wrong verb form
think
for reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
pollution
and housing Use synonyms
problem
in Fix the agreement mistake
problems
order
to prevent illness and disease. Environmental Use synonyms
pollution
has the potential to cause an adverse impact on Use synonyms
humans
health situations Change the noun form
human
nevertheless
Linking Words
this
essay thought that only solving the housing problem should not be an adequate solution to prevent diseases, Linking Words
therefore
it should be dealt with in a larger perspective.Linking Words
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task response
Provide a clearer position on the given topic and fully address all aspects of the prompt. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear purpose related to the topic and that the conclusion restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more focused and clearly connected to the main points of the essay. Ensure that there is a clear logical structure within and between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.