IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. but others believe the that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or they find the most interest. Discuss both the sides and give your opinions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary epoch, there are
Correct your spelling
enormous
enormus
Correct article usage
an enormus
show examples
 of new subjects introduced in
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 curriculum.Fewer have an opinion that
school goers
Add a hyphen
school-goers
show examples
 should
focus
Use synonyms
 in all
subject
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of their preference.
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 some argue young adults should
focus
Use synonyms
 on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their favourite
subject
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that the students should follow the
subject
Use synonyms
 they are capable
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay would analyse both the phenomenon and come to a conclusion.
firstly
Linking Words
 , getting the knowledge of all subjects is
boredom
Correct article usage
a boredom
show examples
 and
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 process.
Linking Words
further
Add a comma
,further
show examples
 when a pupil
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 to gather knowledge of all the syllabus
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
 they can not specialise in all the subjects .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , due to lack of
interest
Add a comma
,interest
show examples
 they might end up in lack in
focus
Use synonyms
toward
Change preposition
on
show examples
 studies. To cite an example, a survey was done among students at schools in
colombo
Change the capitalization
Colombo
show examples
.
Further
Linking Words
 ,
accordind
Correct your spelling
according
 to the survey the students excelled well in
Use synonyms
subject
Add an article
a subject
the subject
show examples
 which they are good ,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
 the pupils who focused all were not good in their studies.
secondly
Linking Words
, the attention toward the
subject
Use synonyms
 they are good in leads to specialisation and inventive.
Besides
Linking Words
, the teenagers would learn
enthsiastically
Correct your spelling
enthusiastically
 and try to invent new theories or inventions on their favourite
subject
Use synonyms
 area.
For example
Linking Words
, in most of the nations globally from the initial stage of their ages gives options to the field of
area
Add an article
the area
show examples
 they intend to follow.
therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 change has been welcomed by many experts that they appreciate the teens could gain expert knowledge in the
subject
Use synonyms
 they prefer. To conclude , each
subject
Use synonyms
 has its own nuances ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 studying all courses lacks the
focus
Use synonyms
 and
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
. I strongly believe that a person can be
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 if only the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 point of interest should be their preference.
Hence
Linking Words
, the school management
also
Linking Words
 could set the syllabus according to the requirement of the teens.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: