Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individuals #amount

Sugar

has been considered to be

Remove the article

apply

show examples

harm

for

Change preposition

show examples

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body. In terms of making solutions for

sugar

intake,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

is expected to take action on society’s

sugar

consumption

On the other hand

, it is believed that

people

should have their own responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

limiting the amount of

sugar

they consume. In my opinion, both ideas are rational but I strongly reckon with the fact that

government

takes a greater impact on the

consumption

sugar

. Nowadays, the appearance of

sugar

is rife

among

Change preposition

show examples

our society and the food seems to be addictive to many

people

Although

sugar

is well-known for its harmful character,

however

, there is still a tremendous amount of

people

struggle

Correct pronoun usage

who struggle

show examples

with limiting

sugar

in their diet, and the major reason is lack of knowledge about

sugar

Sugar

can be in many forms other than granulated, it

also

appears in honey, maple syrup, canned food or frozen goods. There are many

people

who avoid granulated

sugar

but still consume other forms of

sugar

unconciously

Correct your spelling

unconsciously

which makes them find it hard to limit the

sugar

intake. Because

people

’s actions towards

sugar

consumption

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not efficient due to the reason above,

thus

government

participation is crucial. In terms of

government’s

Correct article usage

the government’s

show examples

responsibility towards

sugar

consumption

, raising

sugar

awareness for residents is a delicate solution.

For instance

, adolescent in Canada

are

Change the verb form

show examples

now prepared with knowledge in relation to

sugar

at school.

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Canada’s food guide,

for example

, has been making potential impacts on

people

’s diet as well as

sugar

consumption

among the society.

As a result

, since 2000, the obesity rate in the country has decreased two-fold comparing to the

last

few decades. In conclusion,

people

’s responsibility to limit

sugar

consumption

cannot be efficient without

government

involvement.

Submitted by hongmanhne on Mon Apr 19 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
According to some people, it would be better if industries are established in regions outside the urban area. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages.
It is often considered that in the contemporary world, a few individual believes that manufacturing units should be built outside the city. Whereas, other people thinks that companies should be in rural areas. Thus, this essay will elaborate on both positive and negative sides which further leads to a conclusion.
<4
band
Nowadays, in many areas, local people celebrate large-scale festivals. It can bring economy; beside, it can take away the local culture. So, what is the advantage and disadvantage of this problem.
On the one hand, there are some pros of large – scale festivals. First of all, the city where hold the festival will be upgraded to a higher level. In fact, more informations about that area will be appeared on social media. For example, photographers or journalists come and record videos about the festivals then post on the internet. In addition, the festivals also give chances to children to do more outdoor activities. Nowadays, children tend to spend their time at home more than going outside so it’s an opportunity for them to enjoy the holiday with their family and friends. For instance, Mid-Autumn festival is a great time for children to play and watch “múa Lân”.
5.5
band
In order to improve a country’s education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. What is your opinion? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?
Nowadays, there is a common belief that students should criticize their educationalist within lessons to develop a teaching system. While I disagree that it is not a good idea to make comments during class time, I think it is quite appropriate to receive feedback from students after classes to revise the teaching methods. The aim of the essay is to support my view and provide other ways how to develop education systems.
6
band
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless o[ whether the course is useful to an employee. well in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
Nowadays, some people hold the idea that university needs to offer students the knowledge and abilities which are required in their later career, while others consider that giving access to knowledge for its own sake is more important. In my opinion, I agree with the view that universities should provide some useful courses which are beneficial to work.
7
band
some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor and rich people. Others think it is having the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is commonly believed that modern technological advancements are widening the gap between the upper class and the lower class. Others, however, believe the opposite. In my opinion, certain technological innovations are available to all people in society and make contributions to bridging the wealth gap, nevertheless, certain innovations are inaccessible to the poor because of their high cost.

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

According to some people, it would be better if industries are established in regions outside the urban area. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays, in many areas, local people celebrate large-scale festivals. It can bring economy; beside, it can take away the local culture. So, what is the advantage and disadvantage of this problem.

In order to improve a country’s education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. What is your opinion? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?

some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor and rich people. Others think it is having the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.