It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #places #culture #books #films #internet

With the birth of the internet,

people

nowadays can easily access

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

all around the

word

Correct your spelling

world

show examples

This

seems to make

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to another

country

less

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since we can get to know a

country

simply from our digital devices.

However

, in my opinion, it is hard to know a

country

thoroughly except you explore it yourself.

People

can get basically every piece of information

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

need by searching online. We can read an e-book from Spain, watch a movie from France, and even have a visual reality tour of a museum online. We can, without a doubt, learn knowledge from these materials.

However

, what we absorb are all

second

-hand information, interpreted from other’s point of view.

This

can never compete with the actual experience you gain from

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to the

country

by yourself. Visiting distant places around the world could be very beneficial.

Moreover

, it gives

people

opportunities that would have been

otherwise

impossible if they had only stayed in one place.

For instance

, Forest Gump became one of the world's most successful businessmen because he wandered through many countries where he found so many chances.

Therefore

, it is necessary to travel to other countries to learn about other cultures of other

people

. In conclusion,

although

the world is now globally connected through various websites and satellites, so some think we can replace the

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

experience with surfing the internet or reading some books.

However

, it’s believed that it's really essential to roam around different regions of the globe to get some knowledge about cultural variations, after all, it is an irreplaceable experience.

Submitted by yliitning0123 on Wed Apr 21 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural immersion
authentic experiences
diverse perspectives
comprehensive
historical context
facilitates
sensory and emotional depth
holistic understanding
cultural bias
stereotypes
discernment
virtual reality
convenience of access

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It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better careers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?