IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the south pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole #development
One
 of the most conspicuous trends of today’s world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people believing It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments,
such
 as the south pole. There is a widespread worry that
this
 will only lead to a myriad of concerns in
one
’s life.
However
, I do not entirely accept
this
 and I will explain why in
this
 essay. There are a number of arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of my stance. The most preponderant
one
 is
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to remote
places
 can not only contribute provide
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 experience to see
such
 far
places
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 lead to numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only can
one
 benefit more when it comes to being effective, but they can
also
 enhance the productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand
one
 in good stead, as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned.
For example
, people can go anywhere through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
planes to see different
places
 in different countries throughout the world. There are
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, some pitfalls that can easily overwhelm the potential benefits to travel in the far natural environments and
places
. The primary
one
 stems from the fact that by observing the aforementioned trend, people had not only realised its gravity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 gauged the magnitude of its repercussions when it comes to today’s ever-changing lifestyle.
Hence
, it is apparent why many are against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. In view of the arguments outlined above,
one
 can conclude that despite some drawbacks, the benefits of travel to the south to north poles are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by patel.khushi2504 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: