IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy.Which opinion do you agree with?Discuss both options and give example.

#people #pets #children #options
People are keeping pets
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 because of increasing stress and anxiety but sometimes for the loving behaviour of
animals
. the
dogs
 and cats are on top of that list because
children
 like to play with them.
animals
 show love and affection towards their owner which is unconditional. In fact,
children
 feel
more safe
Replace the words
safer
show examples
 with pets and enjoy their company
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
. in some
incidients
Correct your spelling
incidents
children
 got injured due to aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
animals
. in the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
 we will take look
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of housing
animals
. It is seen in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases domestic
animals
 usually
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
 attack their owner but under certain
conditions
Add a comma
,conditions
show examples
 they can do so. People are more attracted towards aggressive
dogs
 to save their property or farms. wild species of
dogs
 attack mostly because of their
their
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
genetic ability to live in wild conditions.
For instance
, a child was
brutually
Correct your spelling
brutally
 injured by
pitbull
Correct article usage
a pitbull
show examples
 dog which can be dangerous and life
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
. All
this
 happen because
dog
Add an article
the dog
show examples
 got overexcited and attack her while playing. In America number of cases in which
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
which some
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
dogs
 variety are listed dangerous and the government is planning to ban those from pet
animals
 list.
Dogs
 are loyal and safe but specialised training is required for them because of their wild instinct. I suggest
to keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
dogs
 provided that the
children
 are not left alone with them. People
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to know every about
dogs
 behaviour before buying it to avoid any unprecedented intimidation.
Children
 should not be allowed to play with
dogs
 if they are below
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 of 10 years to avoid any mishappening. guardians of
dogs
 must chain them if they are going outside their home. It is concluded that
dogs
 are not safe for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 because of their aggressive instinct.
Children
 are
also
 not much aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the pet animal which is housed and any single mistake can risk their life. Prevention is important by following guidelines issued by the govt for better
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 of pet
animals
.
Submitted by bhinder7780 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • companion
  • responsibility
  • care
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • social skills
  • transmit
  • diseases
  • allergies
  • safety risks
  • time
  • effort
  • money
  • mature
  • handle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: