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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents
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It is irrefutable that
children
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 are
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of the nation . though, some people opine that guardian should learn about
parential
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parental
potential
 skills so that
this
Linking Words
 course would
helps
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help
show examples
 them in better bringing up of the
kids
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. I totally disagree with
this
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 statement as
parents
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 can learn from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as well as they could learn by spending
time
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 with their toddlers.
To begin
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 with, it is undeniable fact that
parents
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 play
significant
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a significant
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 role in the bringing up of the
children
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, which has been successful from ancient times.
parents
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 skills can be learned by themselves
by
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apply
show examples
with the success and failure with the
children
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 . To explain it
further
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,
parents
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 learn
better
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a better
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 way of bringing up of their
children
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 by their own childhood experiences, with the help of their family member and from their
neigbhours
Correct your spelling
neighbours
 rather than getting enrolled into the course.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India people never go the classes for learning how to raise their
kids
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 ,
instead
Linking Words
 of joining programs they spend
time
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 with their elder ones and gain knowledge about it and prepare themselves for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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.
Movingfurther
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Moving further
, practical knowledge is considered best as compare to
theortical
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theoretical
. In
modren
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modern
more
 world where life becomes so rigorous because of shortage of
time
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 and people could hardly find
time
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 to spend it with their family like past
genrations
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generations
 . Getting admission in
curriculum
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the curriculum
show examples
Add the particle
to provide
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provide
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provides
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 only
theortical
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theoretical
 knowledge , whereas, by spending ample
of
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apply
show examples
springtime with
kids
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 , many
parents
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 could get better exposure to the
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 situation. In past times , many
parents
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 had more than 10
children
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 and they brought up them very efficiently and without any external support in
trainings
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training
pieces of training
show examples
. While mingling with their
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kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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parents
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 come
to
Correct your spelling
too
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 close to them and that
create
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creates
show examples
 a strong bond between them which helps in enhancing their skills. To conclude , in my
prespective
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perspective
 , it is
totally
Correct article usage
a totally
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 wastage of
time
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 in taking classes to learn
parental
Add an article
the parental
a parental
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 skill as it can be learned by
help
Add an article
the help
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 of grandparents and from
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Submitted by arpitsandhu001 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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