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Band 4.5

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do.

#artists #freedom #pictures #music #film #government #restrictions
Creative
artists
 should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever
way
 they wish. There should be no public or government
restrictions
 on what they do. Creativity is a feature
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 comes inherently and needs freedom for expressing itself.
Therefore
, I think that not only
artists
 but all creative
people
 should always be given freedom but with some
restrictions
.
Firstly
,
artists
 have natural skills which help them to convey themselves in a beautiful
way
, to show the deficiencies of the environment
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
surrounding
Change the form of the verb
surrounds
show examples
 them. Unfortunately, in several
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 their work of art restricted or banned by certain authorities.
Moreover
, in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 they were threatened by the kings, presidents, prime ministers etc.
For instance
, Azerbaijani writer Nasimi was threatened and murdered by the government nearly 500 years ago for his brave words.
Secondly
, we are
people
 and we have to be controlled because we live in communities and without
ruling
Add a comma
,ruling
show examples
 we should be confused. If some artist paints, writes or creates something without damaging
people
 physically and mentally there will be no
restrictions
 against him/her because we live in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 21st century and we have some democratic laws. But every artist has to obey the rules and laws of his/her government. They can illustrate the real face of the system which they live in but without insulting somebody’s personality.
Thirdly
, nowadays it is inevitable to face with films, pictures, poems which includes criticism, message etc. There are several regulatory bodies in every country which control, check these things. Undoubtedly, there some
restrictions
 which try to adjust their creativity but real
artists
 don’t be afraid of any
restrictions
 because of their thinking. To sum up,
every
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every one
each
show examples
 of us who lives in the world
have
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has
show examples
 the right to be free. We born free because god creates us in that
way
. Expressing ourselves in a freely
way
 our natural right, but, unfortunately in certain autocratic
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
people
 have to keep
silence
Replace the word
silent
show examples
 because they have not any choices. Especially, in these
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 it is too hard to find real
artists
 because of the restriction.
Submitted by Farid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom of expression
  • Censorship
  • Artistic integrity
  • Cultural identity
  • Social responsibility
  • Public order
  • Discrimination
  • Hate speech
  • Self-regulation
  • Government intervention
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Creativity
  • Democracy
  • Fundamental right
  • Moral obligation
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