Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think that this world makes them more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #world

A few individuals are of

opinion

Correct article usage

the opinion

show examples

that in the modern

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

people are not self-reliant,

while

others argue that, the technologically advanced world

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

made them more self-sufficient.

However

, I believe people have become more independent in the modern world.

This

essay shall discuss both the views and support my opinion of persons becoming more independent in modern society.

Firstly

, those who are in favour of modernisation making individuals more dependent on other humans may believe so because in order to combat the fast pace of contemporary life many of them do multiple jobs and

hence

are unable to manage work-life balance.

For example

- a working mother might need the help of a nanny or the support of a family member to take care of her children.

Therefore

in present times, individuals may need each other to help balance their work and family life.

On the other hand

, there are folk who think the modern era is sophisticated enough for them to be independent.

For instance

due to

technological advances

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

from home is an option available for most employees, enabling them to be more independent of their co-workers.

Hence

, many of them are able to manage their professional lives smoothly.

Moreover

, online shopping has made it evident that to purchase something all you need is a digital store with digital products

while

real stores and the persons needed to manage them are superfluous. So, store managers,

salespeople

Correct word choice

and salespeople

show examples

will be redundant soon in

this

kind of scenario.

To conclude

, I am of the opinion that modern society has made many self-sufficient

due to

technological advances around the globe,

thus

making human beings in society efficient and enabling them to accomplish more on their own.

Submitted by Leena Kapoor on Wed Apr 28 2021

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

286 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think that this world makes them more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In a number of countries, some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement