IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that non academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate only on academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #subjects #syllabus #children #academics
Opinions are divided on whether academies should include non-professional
subjects
 in the curriculum or not. While there are arguments on both sides, I believe it is more beneficial to dedicate student to only educational courses. One reason why non-academic
subjects
 might seem appealing is that they may help
students
 to enlarge their knowledge horizons and help to develop their personality. Schools often place a high emphasis on
studies
 related to sports or crafting in an attempt to improve a student both mentally and physically.
Moreover
,
children
 may gain better social skills by attending classes that involve group work activities. Games, team works or other activities engaging
students
 together often helps
children
 to improve their social abilities by cooperating with their classmates. On contrary to
this
, non-academic
studies
 will occupy a potentially large amount of student's time.
Children
 are often already overloaded by the major
subjects
 they study, being unable to cover their materials. The introduction of additional
studies
 would contribute even more to their struggle. Another point to consider is that if
students
 become more focused on particular
studies
,
then
 there is a higher chance that they will occupy a prestigious career. By eliminating irrelevant
subjects
 from the curriculum,
students
 will have a possibility to concentrate better on the particular sphere and develop a strong knowledge base in that field.
As a result
, they will have better job prospects in the future for a specific profession. To conclude, some institutions are concerned that including additional
subjects
 in the curriculum encourages
children
 to develop skills in several fields.
However
, I believe
students
 must focus only on
subjects
 relevant to their field of study since it will ensure the best career paths for them.
Submitted by jaker.raimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: