IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people argue that climate change has negative effects on business, while other people believe that climate change could create more opportunities to business. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #climate #change #effects #business #opportunities
Currently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
change
 is becoming increasingly serious due to the unlimited resources excavation.
This
 has triggered an intense discussion.Some people believe that
climate
change
 may negatively influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development,whereas,some other people advocate that a greater amount of opportunities would be exerted.Personally,I strongly agree that the adverse effects outweigh the advantage for larger business odds.
To begin
 with, the changing
climate
 could result in a lower production of planting.According to the research,by 2030,the total production of wheat,rice and corn may decline by almost 5%~10% due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming which is a kind of
climate
change
.
Moreover
,in arid areas,a great
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of engineerings in factories that require plentiful water could conceivably be forced to terminate the operation because of the lack of water source.
Therefore
,uncertain
climate
 conditions presumably lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 serious falling economy.
On the other hand
,more business opportunities are
potentially
Replace the adverb
potential
show examples
 to be accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural catastrophe and damages to human health.
This
 means that more artificial food might be produced to replace the decreased plantings.What’s more,it is undoubtedly that
climate
change
 will be detrimental to
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
 health.It perhaps
rises
Correct your spelling
raises
show examples
 the probability of disease and death rate and
thus
 elevates the infections.In light of
this
,more advanced medical machines tend to be generated and lots of relevant medical staffs are of great
inportance
Correct your spelling
importance
 for treatment.
Similarly
,more precaution works for avoiding the disease like masks towards haze weather or related measures would be in demand.
Hence
,
this
 tends to boost the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
 the economic prosperity whatever from human’s daily life or health issue would be brought,
however
,in my opinion,the disadvantages involved in environmental damage and worse physical conditions for humans should be in deeper consideration and these factors are inevitable.
Submitted by 3150552091 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: